two more unfinished songs

[paradox_765]

Hi guys it's me again....this is that two more songs that i talked about
so....u may feel free to tell me what u think about them and i must let you know that this is unfinished songs :D
thanks in advanced because it means alot to me:



http://www.mediafire.com/?gxjxvgz9wmn

http://www.mediafire.com/?cyod3njzujk

[paradox_765]

and...

[cakw]

Avoid linking to mediafire or anything like that (i.e. minimize mouseclicks) because that will discourage a lot of ppl from bothering to check out your work. At least I bothered to wait for this 5 minute download to finish :P

still downloading...stand by

[cakw]

I only listened to the first track... in the middle of writing 2 papers for two research profs right now.

I like your idea in the beginning, but it develops a bit too slowly. Not in terms of bars or seconds, but the elements you add. Maybe you could introduce something with a pitch 16 bars earlier. Like a low bass line for example, before the line in 1:28 comes in. You're probably thinking, "but many songs out there develop that way!" Yes, but the intro would have to be more dynamic at the same time. Some sound effects with panning, for example, would probably help.

Overall, smooth development, but you could be more daring with bringing out the main theme. It's pretty mellow throughout the whole track, even though it's clear where/when the different elements are being introduced. More layering of synths and compression?


Hope that helps. Good luck! :)

[cluelessme7]

i like it

[sprachgenerator]

alright - so I'm listening right now to project 14.02.08:

this track has a great idea (and all songs need at least that)... the execution of course on the idea needs a little more oomph, it's very programatic/predictable... I'm not going to break down specifics with what's going on - but I will describe the main difference I find between a track that get's floors moving and a track that just sounds like one is the small subtle changes/variances....

In this case, the emotional is good - but there isn't enough to keep me interested...

For drums - the analogy I can come up with is that it has to roll... the best image I find in my head is a small boat (like 14') in an ocean during a storm just rolling/moving in fairly unpredictable but familiar ways. If you can't score your music to this scene in your head - keep working the drums. In this case - shift notes around (shuffle) things a little, make lots of tweaks to the high hats, etc.. that's where a drum track is made assuming you have a solid kick drum... You should be able to listen to the drums of a track without anything else and feel the urge to move. The rest is just candy to get the people that aren't dancing interested (and to build up to monumental proportions) :)

On the subject of melody - this track does have a groove - but it doesn't have any friends... There should an entire dancefloor of melodic tunage playing off each other, constantly surprising me.. recurring themes but changing and layering in ways that suprise the dancer.

Moving on to project 0025: this track is *much* better.. the drums are executed to a noticable improvement over the first and the recording is completely different/better as well.. whatever set of ears you had with this recording - keep rolling with those and forget the ones you used on the last track...

With regards to melody - you also implemented somewhat of pieces playing off each other (even though it was the same patch) I would throw another 2-3 variances in the main melody line along with some underlying effects/sounds (think more on the perscussive side) to tie things together and you would a foundation for a solid tune...

Full disclosure: I normally work around the areas of house/amby - however I dip into the trance genre quite frequently as well...
hope that helps!

[paradox_765]

I only listened to the first track... in the middle of writing 2 papers for two research profs right now.

I like your idea in the beginning, but it develops a bit too slowly. Not in terms of bars or seconds, but the elements you add. Maybe you could introduce something with a pitch 16 bars earlier. Like a low bass line for example, before the line in 1:28 comes in. You're probably thinking, "but many songs out there develop that way!" Yes, but the intro would have to be more dynamic at the same time. Some sound effects with panning, for example, would probably help.

Overall, smooth development, but you could be more daring with bringing out the main theme. It's pretty mellow throughout the whole track, even though it's clear where/when the different elements are being introduced. More layering of synths and compression?


Hope that helps. Good luck! :)

i will try to do everything u said to me, because i really need more layering and i hope it will work good:D
and again thanks for the advice and such things that will help me to build a good tune

[paradox_765]

alright - so I'm listening right now to project 14.02.08:

this track has a great idea (and all songs need at least that)... the execution of course on the idea needs a little more oomph, it's very programatic/predictable... I'm not going to break down specifics with what's going on - but I will describe the main difference I find between a track that get's floors moving and a track that just sounds like one is the small subtle changes/variances....

In this case, the emotional is good - but there isn't enough to keep me interested...

For drums - the analogy I can come up with is that it has to roll... the best image I find in my head is a small boat (like 14') in an ocean during a storm just rolling/moving in fairly unpredictable but familiar ways. If you can't score your music to this scene in your head - keep working the drums. In this case - shift notes around (shuffle) things a little, make lots of tweaks to the high hats, etc.. that's where a drum track is made assuming you have a solid kick drum... You should be able to listen to the drums of a track without anything else and feel the urge to move. The rest is just candy to get the people that aren't dancing interested (and to build up to monumental proportions) :)

On the subject of melody - this track does have a groove - but it doesn't have any friends... There should an entire dancefloor of melodic tunage playing off each other, constantly surprising me.. recurring themes but changing and layering in ways that suprise the dancer.

Moving on to project 0025: this track is *much* better.. the drums are executed to a noticable improvement over the first and the recording is completely different/better as well.. whatever set of ears you had with this recording - keep rolling with those and forget the ones you used on the last track...

With regards to melody - you also implemented somewhat of pieces playing off each other (even though it was the same patch) I would throw another 2-3 variances in the main melody line along with some underlying effects/sounds (think more on the perscussive side) to tie things together and you would a foundation for a solid tune...

Full disclosure: I normally work around the areas of house/amby - however I dip into the trance genre quite frequently as well...
hope that helps!




man, first of all thanks alot for such good advices, u have really tried to understand my songs, and u made it :D and this is one great feedback, because i can see what is going wrong with my tunes. i will try to change every single thing u said to me because you're right.

thanks alot my friend u really helped me :D