Post funny emails you received

[2030]

Post here all funny/scary/weird or other emails you received!

Here are some i received. Its actually from a user i banned from these forums, out of respect i have hidden his name;) All these emails came one after another, without me responding to them!

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Email #1
From user: RAN
hey
1 i dont need your forum i have more 5 batter forums for amazing tracks and sets
2 i didnt do anything wrong only said tnxx for each download if it is bad i dont need your bugging so get lost and fukk offf mader faker
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Email #2
violated ???? r u crazy people
only said thnks for eaxh download so if u call it violated so fakk off mader faker
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Email #3
get looooost
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Email #4
ma@er fa#er
go and learn english i waist to much time to register in your fuking site dont need ya i have 5 more great trance forums all is free all r friends there so get loast for your badness
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[2030]

Comeon peeps, im sure your inboxes are full of weird messages ;)

[Arcana]

Post here all funny/scary/weird or other emails you received!

Here are some i received. Its actually from a user i banned from these forums, out of respect i have hidden his name;) All these emails came one after another, without me responding to them!

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Email #1
From user: *** hidden content ***
hey
1 i dont need your forum i have more 5 batter forums for amazing tracks and sets
2 i didnt do anything wrong only said tnxx for each download if it is bad i dont need your bugging so get lost and fukk offf mader faker
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Email #2
violated ???? r u crazy people
only said thnks for eaxh download so if u call it violated so fakk off mader faker
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Email #3
get looooost
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Email #4
ma@er fa#er
go and learn english i waist to much time to register in your fuking site dont need ya i have 5 more great trance forums all is free all r friends there so get loast for your badness
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hilarious....what a dumb person he was..

[dte21]

LOL I used to recieve lots of funny spams daily, but have deleted all of them :P

[2030]

Email
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i find you incedible attractive would really like it if you could hit me up
on msn messenger my name is beckyisforu
there please feel free to tell me a bit about youself.
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[specialedxl]

his english is so bad haha

[nire_nire_nire]

A Nigerian/Western Union/Cashiers Check scam from some Chico Buege character.. needless to say, I'm still pulling his leg as he tries to get me to cash this fake check and wire the remainder to a Mr.Ben and Sherry (Chico's a supposed middle-man in this). All from a phone I advertised on craiglist too.. don't worry, I'm assuring him that I'll back the phony item w/ melted bananas and cottage cheese to ensure this fragile item will make it through.

[2030]

A Nigerian/Western Union/Cashiers Check scam from some Chico Buege character.. needless to say, I'm still pulling his leg as he tries to get me to cash this fake check and wire the remainder to a Mr.Ben and Sherry (Chico's a supposed middle-man in this). All from a phone I advertised on craiglist too.. don't worry, I'm assuring him that I'll back the phony item w/ melted bananas and cottage cheese to ensure this fragile item will make it through.

post the email :beer:

[nire_nire_nire]

It's been going on for a week now, so I'll post some highlights. He even had the nerve to use relay call on me today (a middle-man service to conceal his location/identity/voice). Here are some of his:
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"chico buege" <company_manager001002@yahoo.com>

1. Okay just make sure everything is packed well with the remiaing $$which will be $780 when you deduct you $40 okay just deduct $40 okay and the item with the remaing $780 and send by FedEx Overnight so that it can be deliever fast okay and let me have the shipment verification tracking number also okay,
Please don't do any mistake on the address here is the shipping address again:

SHIPPING ADDRESS AGAIN:
NAME:Sherry Hinkle
ADDRESS:213 Bellevue RD
CITY:Red Lion
STATE:PENNSYLVANIA
ZIPCODE:17356
COUNTRY:usa

send by FedEx Overnight delievery okay.
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2. Hello Bruno,
Thanks for your prompte reply and it really appreciate i just receive a call from my customer Mr Ben today that the available founds on the check is sum of $820 and he has already prepared it but haven't drop it off yet becouse he ask me to hear from you first,becouse he wanted send the remaing to his wife also Mrs Sherry by Western Union hope that not problem to Western the remaing $220 imddiatelly you receive the payment but i will like you to send the item out immdiatelly informed you that it has been drop off,So you make the delay now when i hear from you i will give order to drop the payment off through Postal Service and i will send you the shipping Adress also immdiatelly it been sent out....The item is also for Mr Ben Wife as well Mrs Sherry Hinkle okay...so let me hear from you as soon as possible so that the paymet can be droped off imddiatelly okay thanks for your anintipaint
Chico Buege.

3. Hello Bruno, i don't understand what you mean again.....becouse the payment has been sent out already in form of Casher's Check in sum of $820 as i told you.........if you know you don't know much about Western Union you can easilly packed the remaing money with the item together okay anmd send you don't need going to Western Union then just pack the remaing $820 with the item okay so when Mrs Sherry received it just open it and pick the money there okay hope you get that now okay.........
Thanks for you quick update,
Chico Buege
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Notice the unecessary amount of okay's and grammatical errors? This further denotes that he's a black note.. a scam, a Nigerian (the majority of these are conducted from West Africa btw). Now here's mine (in the next post.. to have some eye-relief)

[nire_nire_nire]

First of all, I'm not an asshole darkly as many of you might think. I legimately pitched my sales at the beginning, until his questionable offer came into place. Shortly thereafter I did a 1 minute research on google and voila, the conclusion was drawn. Keep in mind.. he's persistent, oh, is he.. these carpet monsters never learn. Here are my emails to him, Domo-kun!
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1. Why certainly! I'd be happy to do so! Anything to make a customer happy! Just send it over so I may help wire the rest over to Mr.Bee and his wife Syrup.

Thank you for clearing it up! You've been a lot of help!

BmB
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2. Why do you send two emails each time? Just wondering. But yes, the phone is already packed with fudge and plenty of melted bananas to ensure it's safety (since it's a fragile item). Now, whenever I recieve the N.W.A. check I'll wire the rest of the money back to Mr.Ben and his wife Suge Knight, right?

Thanks! BmB

Hope we can do plenty of business in the future; 2013 A.D.
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3. Hello Chic Bi.,

Otay, I vil try meinl feiste to try and do the shinjuku transfer (as it was very common in japan to transfer between the shinkansen). Afterwards I may send the remaining back dat azz up wit da package of phony, okay? So what if addresses bounces back, okay.. and like, I need your address to send back to you directly, okay? Because once I do deez and get address of roman catholic church, okay? Thanks, okay? Kudos!

Bit.mBch.
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4. Send it back in a WHAT!?! An elelop? Are you coming onto me, sir? Trying to elope with me like two jackals in a rabbit sack? Red Lion.. is that a real city? Because I'm been to Philly, and Red Lion is a strip club/petting zoo. Anyways.. will definately shend za paymentos to your addy, aiiiiiiight?

BmB - yo homie

5. Don't worry okay? when I recieve the payment I'll pack the phony item okay? with melted bananas and cottage cheese to ensure the virginity is kept by it's fragility okay? Then I'll insert the Ca$h$cam payment nested in meinl pubic hair w/ a bottle of the finest fermented horse urine from voroshilovgrad JUST AS A COMPLIMENTARY ITEM FOR YOU OKAY!?!
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okay.. bmb okay? umm.. okay.. that's it, okay?

6. My employer doesn't appreciate textile calls or whatever factory you were calling from, he assumed the call under my name.. he said it was costing the company line too much money (time = money for our business; American Association of Nigerian Immigrant Deportation = AANID) He says to directly call next time.

Thank you - BmB
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7. Sir, I recieved another relay call and have warned you before to directly call me without any middle-men. I don't care if your voice sounds like Charlie Chaplin when he got out of doing silent films (like a kazzoo or a high-pitched japanese housewife).

From what I understand your from area code 612.. then 216? Is this a conspiracy pattern like that movie, Signs starring Mel Torme? And yes, I have the address correct. But during the relay, you hung up.. which is rude like rocksteady or the Specials when they performed "Rudy" in the 98' Auburnia Festival. Now then.. may I have the phone number or another way to contact Mr.Benson and Stabler.

~ Kudos - Detective BmB of AANID; cleaning streets of Nigerian scum day after day
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Sorry for consecutive posting, but I needed to seperate plaintiff and defendant, so to speak. But I think the last two will stop his harassing me.. at least, I thought the okay, okay, okay mockery would've swept him away.

[nire_nire_nire]

Back to the Chico Buege story.. now he's threatening to call the FBI because I won't ship the item to some phony address and cash in a forged check. Can he do this? I need some opinions.. I'll probably to go a bank soon and have it evaluated further. What a hack.. a scammer tryna report me
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helloBruno Brunel once again i want you to start thinking now will dont talk about your landlord before i senmt the check will talk about bussiness and you told me immeditelly you got the check you will ship my item out and my money so what is delaying now kindlly send it out today last day Brunel well i will give u today and if you still want to be agueing with my item with you and my money i will called on F.B.I i have informed them allready so i dont want anythign thgat will implicated you and if you thinkam joking you can try me i think you dont now who you delling with i mean mr ben is one of the high F.B.I so is better send my item out and money.

[nire_nire_nire]

To fully understand his rage.. we have this email from myself: (the one afterwards is me after his 4 CONSECUTIVE on cursing me out.. then asking me to send the item to a phony address, cashing in a forged check, and then wiring the excess funds [$780] to his "customer" Mr.Ben.. a supposed High FBI agent.. wtf is a High FBI? haha) Now.. the third one is another on of the 4.. 1 being posted above already
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1. Hey, bad news.. and good news. I got your check, at least my landlord did. I'm a bit behind on dues (or rent). I have to come up with $60 before I can claim my mail from her. Do you think you can send me a money or cash of this amount? So I can then pay my late fees, get the check, and send you the phone AND the excess funds ($780) + a personal check of how much I owe you.

I'm sorry for this inconveniance, I'll even throw in interest.. please let me know asap. Thanks

Bruno Brunel
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2. First of all, calm down and stop cursing. You're being very immature about it, threatening me won't get you anywhere. If you'd like to be a polly prissy-pants about it, talk to my landlord, Armin van Buuren. His email is:

land_lord001002@hushmail.com

He says he'll have to cash the check personally himself and have it evaluated if I don't come up with the money. So quit your Vidal Sassooning, you negative nancy name-calling noidberg.

Your friend in the legimate and honest business world, Bruno Ballbuster
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3. Brunel what is all this shit you telling and you cannot no why i am sending you all this massage i dont want you to be in jail okay.....so dont tyr to play game MR get back to me with my tracking cos you still mail me last time that you haven't got the check so you got it now telling me all this shit.get back and let me tell you this talk to him you should go and cashed the check at the bank together is instantlly check they will cashed it for you instantlly okay o you can give him the money tell him you just said if you have got this check cashed you want to come and paid him or her tell him or her like that okay.so the reamaing money you are to send now is $760