well for starters, its all over the place.
it sounds like each sound (kickdrum, percussion, bass, strings, stabs etc. ) are all playing at a different tempo/ quanta and are just randomly slapped on top of one another. The melodies don't seem to fit one another in terms of sequence, and each melody/stab etc. is at a different chord scale/ tonality that well.. just don't match...
Its all very random/ chaotic.
quick question...did you have a precedent track in mind when writing this? or where you just experimenting?
and whats your (studio) setup?