Last night was my big tech trance set! I was opening for the headliner DJ who flew in from Hong Kong, I played to a crowd of at least 100 people, there was a sick visual projection system and massive speaker stacks, and everyone was having an amazing time…
…except me, because this was the first set that I made some obvious mixing mistakes on. The auxiliary CDJ I was plugged into suddenly couldn’t read my drive and my third track was stuck in a 1-bar loop for a little over a minute before I plugged into the actual XDJ and resumed. Then later I accidentally pressed the wrong cue button and jumped to the beginning one one track right before a drop (thankfully the drop was also cued so I jumped right back), and one transition was a bit sudden and not properly beat matched. For a while I was really anxious and felt like I’d lose control…but I was able to look up and see a whole room dancing to my music, and I got my flowstate back by the second half of my set.
I have a diagnosis of both Anxiety and OCD (on top of my autism and ADHD), so it’s hard for me to let go of that perfectionism even now; I’m going to re-record the set before posting it to my SoundCloud. But I guess a mixing mistake had to happen eventually, so I’m glad it was to a crowd that universally loved my set! They all said I took them on a wonderful journey, and either didn’t notice or didn’t give a shit about my mistakes. So instead of being fearful, I feel motivated to do better, and keep playing to such lovely crowds in the future