confessions thread

[Darren]

My confession is I love spongebob and watch it every day lol, and also I love pingu as well. I just find them soooooooo funny

Pingu

[Puppetmaster]

the more i think about it the more i want to get into promoting trance parties like @Puppetmaster but on an international scale...i have a few ideas in mind but i will have to do a lot of research to be able to make it happen...

but that would be one of my life's dreams

Best to start small mate :-) At least here in NL often new events dont attract the required number of visitors as they are sceptical about new organisations and often first wait and see how their first event(s) turn out.

[badass]

Best to start small mate :-) At least here in NL often new events dont attract the required number of visitors as they are sceptical about new organisations and often first wait and see how their first event(s) turn out.

yeah i'm trying to do as much research as i can but i just lack the time with a full time job and trying to run my business...

[Gagi]

this is gonna sound like one huge cliché and I'm sure you've heard it all before, but..

While reading this I see you're stuggling with two sides; one that contains what you want: your wishes, desires etc - and one that contains what is expected of you in life (suburbs, children, marriage etc). If you read the book "The top five regrets of the dying" by Bronnie Ware you see that the number 1 regret is "I wish I'd had the courage to live a live true to myself, not the life others expected of me". There are norms and standards set by society which dictate you how to live your life and when to go through which steps. You're stuggling with this because you feel you're obliged to follow the norms, yet they don't correlate with what you want. When you decide to take control of your own life and do what YOU want with YOUR life and don't give a rat's ass about following the norms, then you'll find it that you're more a peace with yourself get my point?

I don't like to live a life that is expected of me, of course. I am sometimes stubborn when it comes to that. But I see my sister having a baby, and her father (and all other relatives, but him especially) being so happy while holding her and playing with her. I want to be that happy, but I also feel that having wife and kids would limit my life and I would not be able to experience something as if I was on my own. I hate to study and I wouldn't want to go to a faculty (lazy as fuck), but what am I going to do with secondary school? Collect garbage? Hell no. I'd rather work hard an be unhappy for 5 years and then do what I want than do nothing and chill for 5 years and then struggle with my life.

I am a conformist and have my own comfort-zone, and sometimes I know I should change something, but then I settle down with what it is like right now and do nothing. And that is killing me, and I'll try to change that.


On another matter:

-I just had an honest chat with a friend (who was my best friend a couple of years ago), and told him pretty much everything I thought of him, our friendship and our group of friends, and he told me everything he thought, too. It is such a relief, I think I'm going to start telling the truth to everybody (not the angry-man truth). If nothing, at least I'll feel better (like I am feeling right now). It turned to be a nice, long chat, with us saying everything that needed to be said and getting all the tension off of our shoulders.

-I found new shoes online, and I want to buy them, but I want to buy some jeans, trousers, sweaters, shirts, too, and the shoes alone are worth all the money I have right now. I don't know what to do, I want to change my style completely but I need money, and I don't know where and how to get it. I'm such a clothing addict.

-When I'm in bed, one feet is always colder than the other one.

[NomadZXZ]

@Gagi in the spirit of your new found outlook on things, I say buy those items. They can symbolize a point in your life that you decided to take control of things and you can reward yourself with something nice from time to time. Cheers

[Darren]

I don't like to live a life that is expected of me, of course. I am sometimes stubborn when it comes to that. But I see my sister having a baby, and her father (and all other relatives, but him especially) being so happy while holding her and playing with her. I want to be that happy, but I also feel that having wife and kids would limit my life and I would not be able to experience something as if I was on my own. I hate to study and I wouldn't want to go to a faculty (lazy as fuck), but what am I going to do with secondary school? Collect garbage? Hell no. I'd rather work hard an be unhappy for 5 years and then do what I want than do nothing and chill for 5 years and then struggle with my life.

I am a conformist and have my own comfort-zone, and sometimes I know I should change something, but then I settle down with what it is like right now and do nothing. And that is killing me, and I'll try to change that.

Part of growing up is finding these things out, don't expect all the answers as they come gradually with maturity. If anything the pressures put on young shoulders are an unecessary burden and the very fact that you're struggling within yourself shows you're not as conformist as you may believe. Everybody has contradiction within them as it's how we make decisions, where are the compromises but I think life will surprise you.

I grew up and worked a bunch of poor jobs from 19-24 and they depressed the hell out of me and honestly? They set me back rather than forwards. They might have put a few things on a CV for me but trust me, working / not working it's all irrelevant when you're not happy. I am deadly serious about this but you as an individual are better off being poor and unemployed for 5 years than you are in a job which takes the stuffing out of you mentally, emotionally and physically. What makes people happy inside and out of work is growth, knowing today you're more than you were yesterday. Money isn't a necessity with that and it cannot buy you happiness. It helps afford you greather opportunity but really that is it, increased scope.

In my life for instance it has never been about laziness it's been about finding something my heart is in and those jobs weren't them. I can throw myself through brick walls for the right thing & I think anybody can and will in the right position but it's got to be for the right thing. I'll tell you one thing in the world of work and that is, take care of your heart. Unless you find someone really special nobody else is going to take care of it apart from you and there are a lot of takers out there in the world. Businesses do it as well as individuals because they don't look out for you.

-I just had an honest chat with a friend (who was my best friend a couple of years ago), and told him pretty much everything I thought of him, our friendship and our group of friends, and he told me everything he thought, too. It is such a relief, I think I'm going to start telling the truth to everybody (not the angry-man truth). If nothing, at least I'll feel better (like I am feeling right now). It turned to be a nice, long chat, with us saying everything that needed to be said and getting all the tension off of our shoulders.

Honesty and openness are always good with those close. It might sound crazy but it also took me 26 years in life to learnt how little I trusted others and opened up to them. I'm shy as an individual but it was more than that, I didn't let even supposed best friends into a part of me and it's only recently that I've taken steps to amend that weakness within myself. It takes bravery to do so even with those you 'trust' because we tend to build friendships and partnerships to a point where we get comfortable and then fix the framework for them. As time moves on hearts, feelings, experiences & who we are change outside of our control and sometimes we just need a heart to heart session to let others be aware. I'm glad you found the confidence to do that with your friend and I commend you for it.

@Gagi in the spirit of your new found outlook on things, I say buy those items. They can symbolize a point in your life that you decided to take control of things and you can reward yourself with something nice from time to time. Cheers

As for buying clothes if it helps do it like NomadZXZ says, sometimes we need markers in our lives. I've had one of my own with picking up swimming and I realise now it was a symbol of me stopping the rot with myself as an individual. Although I looked fine health wise I hadn't been taking care of myself and although only small I now swim 2km weekly to maintain a level of basic fitness. It's something small but it's something you can look to and recognise as a tangible moment in your life where something changed, the resolve the position in your life shifting.

Anyway enough essay from me I made resolve to do other things too like get my ass away from the machine at times lol Whatever happens in your life I wish you luck with it!

[Gagi]

@Darren Thanks for the comments, I enjoyed reading it. Agree with everything you said.

I opened up to this friend a lot in the past, he simply knew a lot about me and vice-versa, but we kinda drifted apart after a while, we are both to blame for that. I have changed a lot and was more cautious with my secrets, I am cautious about that even now. But yesterday I was talking to him about what I dislike about him, what irritates me, and vice-versa, that was the main subject and I love the fact that I just said what I was thinking for a long time. And I told him a lot of intimate stuff. I always said to him the facts, but not the stuff that's happening inside me, and I told him finally. It just feels so good.
@NomadZXZ Yeah, but I got so much coming up and so little money. Simon Patterson on Feb 14th, these shoes that cost as my whole budget and a lot of nice things to wear, and I don't know what should I do or how should I make more money. I hope my parents will be merciful and donate some money to my budget or buy me something nice, but I don't see that happening.

[AmberJ]

It depends on what you wish to share and how you feel comfortable in that information being retained. The Internet remembers and sometimes the opposite of that is best. Just sharing a quiet moment with someone close can help most.

Very true, completely agree. My post was really more of a joke then anything. Like, I'm clearly an angel and innocent in every way possible! ....jks!

[badass]

I confess I HATE stupid people they get on my nerves...I have to deal with a lot of them at work and they're always asking for my help which leaves less time for my own work *sigh*

[badass]

i think i may be a sex addict...but what constitutes a sex addict idk...hmm gonna have to look it up

[Katadunkass]

I'm a huge introvert. I really don't like being around other human beings I don't know (Like my family and or closest friends). I can't answer the phone if I don't know the person and I rarely talks to strangers at parties. Just when calling one of my friends my heart rate will rise and I get sweaty.

Besides that I don't like humans. I think we, as a race, are overrated and causes a lot of serious bad things to the earth and to each others. I know animals can seem cruel and nature as heartless, but I honestly think humans are much worse since logic doesn't seem to follow the action. Our mutual society doesn't benefit from our actions (Not all actions, but lots of them). It's all about ourself and not for the people around us, it's all about "Me feeling good". I'm not any better myself of course.

Because of this I find it difficult finding new friends because I'm just waiting for them to lie and/or hurt me or the ones I care about in some way.

/confession

[bryanphillips]

Hello, i want to make a confession that once i did not helped an old person when he asked for a lift as i had to go to meet my GF, i think that was my mistake i should not had done that.

[badass]

i'm mad as hell at one of my friends, i won't mention his name tho...

[stormshadow]

i'm mad as hell at one of my friends, i won't mention his name tho...

[badass]

image

at least not no more if you know what i mean *cough cough* moonman *cough* moonman