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Thread: How we used to live (serious topic) !!!

  1. #76

  2. #77
    Gagi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BladeRunner_ View Post
    22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
    It's too small a sample (plus it's not diverse enough across different cultures, nationalities etc) to be able to effectively claim such a thing. The title alone suggests that 22% of all millennials say they have no friends (while it's just 22% of 1200).

    With articles like these, if you're lonely, it's very easy to find comfort in not being the only one, and blame something else for it (e.g. information technology, social media etc). And while all that might be true, and there definitely is a problem if a lot of people say they have no friends, what is missing but is harder to notice is personal responsibility. I think that's a bigger problem, young people not having enough (personal) responsibility. If you feel responsible for your actions and feelings, you will also combat loneliness. But there I am, blaming something else. The point is to find out what's wrong and work the problem. Not give up and say the world sucks. (not directed towards you, just a general rant)
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  4. #78
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    The Great Hack. A good watch on Netflix.

    shows what is wrong with our world. More than we thought already.

  5. #79
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    I'm definitely one of the 22%. I do have like less than a hand full of friends. Maybe not even multiple fingers really. When is somebody really a friend anyway? Anyway, the world does seem very lonely.

    It's because sometimes it seems like I am in a transition, sort of, maybe it's just growing up, or maybe it's actually something... but most people are not in it. They are still living life like they did the last decade.

    It's because I tend to live offline more and more. I don't have Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter, no Snapchat. The only communication app that I have is Whatsapp. And I have a LinkedIn account, but I only check that like a few times a month.

    To be honest. I even want to get rid of Whatsapp. The data-maniplation thing is one argument. That will be even more huge than it already is. But it's also part of something inside myself. More and more I see how worthless the "online" world is. Want to reach me? Sent a good old SMS, or call me. Or better, visit me.

    The only good thing for me online is music. And therefor Trancefix as a social website is OK. As it's simply likeminded people.

    But like I said. Sometimes, very regularly for me actually, it is very lonely. Gagi, you say one should take action for himself. And while that's the obvious truth, it is just as hard as deleting your Facebook account, and staying off it ;-)

    We are all so manipulated and made dependant, it's almost impossible.

    God, I almost sound like Contact now, don't I?
    @Gagi
    Last edited by Voci; 08-05-2019 at 22:54 PM.

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    Serbia
    Quote Originally Posted by Voci View Post
    I'm definitely one of the 22%. I do have like less than a hand full of friends. Maybe not even multiple fingers really. When is somebody really a friend anyway? Anyway, the world does seem very lonely.

    It's because sometimes it seems like I am in a transition, sort of, maybe it's just growing up, or maybe it's actually something... but most people are not in it. They are still living life like they did the last decade.

    It's because I tend to live offline more and more. I don't have Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter, no Snapchat. The only communication app that I have is Whatsapp. And I have a LinkedIn account, but I only check that like a few times a month.

    To be honest. I even want to get rid of Whatsapp. The data-maniplation thing is one argument. That will be even more huge than it already is. But it's also part of something inside myself. More and more I see how worthless the "online" world is. Want to reach me? Sent a good old SMS, or call me. Or better, visit me.

    The only good thing for me online is music. And therefor Trancefix as a social website is OK. As it's simply likeminded people.

    But like I said. Sometimes, very regularly for me actually, it is very lonely. Gagi, you say one should take action for himself. And while that's the obvious truth, it is just as hard as deleting your Facebook account, and staying off it ;-)

    We are all so manipulated and made dependant, it's almost impossible.

    God, I almost sound like Contact now, don't I?
    @Gagi
    I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but people from Serbia who move abroad (especially to Scandinavian countries) say they have a hard time adjusting because everyone seems so cold and distant...even to each other. People here are more used to close social interactions, meeting new people all the time, going out regularly, having family gatherings, celebrating stuff often etc. In my view it's not simply social media that is at fault, you must take into account other stuff such as what I mentioned above. Also - big cities vs small villages and so on and so on. Even personality!

    Social media certainly doesn't help, that's for sure. It has become easier not to socialize than it ever was before. Perhaps we'll see it a generation later, but we will see it here as well.

    As for the "what is a friend, really", well there's no concrete definition in my view. Everyone knows what they want from someone to be able to call them a friend. For some it's people who they hang out with from time to time, others want someone to be a perfect human being.

    The downside to deleting all the apps etc is that you're out of the loop completely. Good for you, but who says that you'll be less lonely? Now comes the hard "taking action" part, it requires active searching for friends or visiting people you already know...who also rely on social media for socialization.

    That's why I try to reduce the usage nowadays, not eliminate it, not become a slave of it (either by avoiding it completely or being addicted). Maybe I'm also lucky to have friends who prefer socializing in-person and who don't like chatting too much. But still, I have other vices such as Instagram etc.

    The worthlessness you attribute to online interactions, and the overall view you have of it is at least partly a reflection of yourself. I know, I did it too. There's still the good stuff out there. But I don't have to tell you that.

    In general I agree, our lives would be better if we reduced social media usage. It's hard, you're right, and I'm no example to follow. But what I know is, that whenever I discuss it here, I do something to improve the situation. Sometimes, just talking about it, even online, is enough for me.

    ---

    P.S. Man what a complicated topic. My response is totally cluttered. Can't even wrap my head around it enough to at least formulate it as I think is necessary. Too much different topics for discussion. Each paragraph could be a long post in itself.
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  9. #81
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    Your response is perfectly fine!

    “The overall view you have of it is at least partly a reflection of yourself”

    I think you caught me there... it comes and goes though, I’m not constantly negative and down. But are they signs of a depression, probably cannot deny that. I also feel like writing it here does something. It makes me think and that is the first step right?

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    Serbia
    Quote Originally Posted by Voci View Post
    Your response is perfectly fine!

    “The overall view you have of it is at least partly a reflection of yourself”

    I think you caught me there... it comes and goes though, I’m not constantly negative and down. But are they signs of a depression, probably cannot deny that. I also feel like writing it here does something. It makes me think and that is the first step right?
    Of course. Just expressing your thoughts sometimes isn't enough though, what really helps is thinking about them critically, asking yourself why are you thinking/feeling this way etc. In short, doing psychotherapy...on yourself.

    The first step, is writing your thoughts/feelings down. And then (step 2) you take a critical, honest look at them. And then you rewrite them, according to what you found in step two. That will help you understand yourself a lot more, so that even when you have negative thoughts, you'll know what's actually behind it. It's important to write it down or say it. We become easily lost in our own thoughts.

    As with depression and negative thoughts, I've been there. Hopefully it doesn't stick around for long. When I didn't know it was depression, just thought it was who I am, a loner and a negative and overly cynical type of guy it lasted for a long time. But when it hit me hard and I knew it, it was gone within a month. It's always better to be aware of your thoughts and the reason behind them. Now it may make you discover things about yourself you won't like but in the end it will help.
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  13. #83
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    Spent the past few hours doing a social media cleanup...again.

    What resulted was unfollowing more than 50 people on Instagram (and muting more than a few), deleted almost all saved posts from Instagram as well. Unfollowed most from Twitter, thinking about deleting it for good (although I follow like 4 accounts now and post nothing).

    Thinking about putting 2-step verification on login for some websites (such as Facebook). Also, removing easy access to them (especially inside browsers), or when I'm really stubborn, blocking all social media websites on my PC for a time-frame I choose. I should also probably make it harder somehow to use these apps on my phone as well.

    I also blocked some porn sites on my PC until October, for starters. This is absolutely non-reversible (save for uninstalling the app), so I'll either have to watch it on my phone (which is bad for privacy) or avoid it all-together. I will definitely do that for some other websites. I just wish I had some YouTube filter that allows me only to listen to music, or for Instagram that forbids me from using the search/explore page.

    The Instagram cleanup is, as always, the most important one, because I spend an unhealthy amount of time there, unhealthily, just creeping around. Porn comes after that. The rest are just small hacks to prevent me from using these all the time.

    I will most certainly relapse someday, but I hope I'll stick to this long-term. The goal is to use these less, and when I do, be mindful about it.
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  15. #84
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    Another (more serious) cleanse. No unfollowing ensued (well, almost).

    This time it was all about reducing accessibility. So, deleting the browser's Speed Dial cards for Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TranceFix and a Renault forum. Removing the YouTube icon from my app drawer on my phone. Will do so for Instagram as well.

    Deleted my other Instagram account for good this time. Also reduced porn usage. I still do it from time to time, and only when I really want to - otherwise it's just too much of an inconvenience due to the previously-set restrictions; in order to be able to watch it I have to shut down Windows, boot up Linux, and because I rarely use Linux I have to boot Windows afterwards.

    With this I really want to try to reduce my screen-time as well, if I don't have anything meaningful to do on the laptop/phone. That's gonna be hard because the bad habit was formed over a couple of years. But I gotta start somewhere. Will try eating breakfast/lunch/dinner in peace, in the kitchen rather than at my desk, watching a video or something. Having coffee and breakfast at the same time (in peace), rather than doing so over the course of a few hours, slowly, one-by-one.

    It's a bit suffocating, being bound to your chair and your screen for the whole day. Yes, I do go to the gym regularly, to which I walk, I still have friends, gatherings, and also exams; it's the "reflex", the habit that's bothering me. Get up - turn on the computer. Have nothing to do - browse random websites for something you don't even care about that much, read opinions from people on tracks you'll forget about in two days. It's easy for employed people to avoid that. But, when I'm left alone, I just reach for the screen as a default behaviour. Now, that's just worrying.
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  17. #85
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    Sorry for taking over the thread with my unfollowed-X-many-people-today rants, but I won't be long.

    Just got rid of Twitter. Need to abstain from logging in for 30 more days and it's gone for good.

    From time to time I think about getting rid of Instagram, for good too. Time to get out more, not look what's out on a screen.

    And it's the same with TranceFix. Just not interested in discussing music I'm gonna forget anyways in a week. It's not a negativity issue anymore. I'm only wondering what's the point. I'm not that interested in opinions anymore, I'm not discovering much music here, there isn't much proper conversation... The worst thing is, I open TF like every half hour for no reason, even with being fully aware of what I just wrote. Same with the rest.

    I'd like to put blocks on these websites first, for a few hours each day, but of course, for that you have to pay...
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  18. #86
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    Would be a shame if you left us here Gagi.

    For me this is only place where at least its somewhat slightly like the old days ‘social media’. On here you see the same nicknames all the time. Real people. You dont see that on the big platforms.

    anyway, good step with Twitter. Useless. Instagram would be a nice follow up.

    You might end up refresing TF even more. At least you wont see so much manipulative adds and addictive reward-systems. ;-)

  19. #87

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    I had a TF hiatus of what. 3 years?



    https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/77d4dfe...f-195bd91af4d2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Voci View Post
    You dont see that on the big platforms.
    Its true. I am members of many design groups on facebook which have many active users and conversation, but none of its deep enough or long-lasting as posts just fall into oblivion until the next one pushes it down. I find it useful but not as rewarding as forums in terms of conversation and content.

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