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Thread: Gender equality dilemma.

  1. #1

    PegaSus's Avatar
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    Gender equality dilemma.

    NOT happened to me fortunately, but came across this story on a website. What are your thoughts on this?

    Remember, the person telling this quote is a guy.

    I went over to a girl’s house, smoked way more weed than I was used to and with a bottle of wine I was basically a zombie. We went to her bed and I asked if she had a condom, she said no, I told her we weren’t shagging then. Passed out, woke up with her riding me. At that point I figured I might as well go with it, since if I was going to catch something then I’d already have it, and I really wanted to go to sleep rather than get dressed and try to get home, deal with awkwardness. No diseases thank god.

    I wasn’t much more than disappointed, and my friends male and female say it isn’t rape, so sometimes before I tell my story I reverse the roles and tell them about the time I shagged an unconscious girl without protection after she’d already said she didn’t want sex. Their reaction is wayyyy different.
    Do you think the guy should just let it go and forget it happened? Or as he explained.. if you reverse the roles, it would be crazy to just let it go right?
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    Gagi's Avatar
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    Think I've come across it somewhere.

    I think it's deeply engraved in our culture that men are the only ones who want sex (or at least want it a lot more), and women are the only ones that get to decide whether they will have sex or not in the end (which is clearly seen in this particular story). Plus, men are seen as a stronger sex, as predators, while women as a weaker sex in general. Most women can't defend themselves from men. That's one part of the problem.

    The other part is that they both kinda wanted it since they came into the bedroom, and the only objection the guy had was the lack of condoms. A fair objection, but still not the same as abducting and raping someone.

    So no, it's not rape, and it wouldn't be in his hypothetical story where the woman is the victim - given the same circumstances.

    Then again, rape is rape whoever the victims and perpetrators are. But I don't think that's the point the guy wanted to make. Yes, it is different how everyone looks at the crime itself, based on whether the victim was male or female. It doesn't go in hand with the equality that's been much discussed lately.

    Take a look at a South Park episode that deals with the same kind of issue. But, in a typical SP fashion, they have blown this out of proportion, while managing to also make fun of some celebrities in the process.

    http://southpark.cc.com/full-episode...&sort=!airdate
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    This guy was sexually assaulted. He passed out and she took advantage of him. It's no more complicated than that. Sure, it's great he can walk away from the experience like it was nothing - there's no right or wrong way to react to sexual assault as long as it leads to happiness and healing - but he said no, and one no is enough to not proceed. Consent can only be given in such a way that it absolutely won't be misunderstood - anything short of that isn't consent, and violating that is violating boundaries and is therefore assault.
    Last edited by Altair; 04-01-2018 at 16:54 PM.



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    In Sweden rape is when you touch a girl.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daysleeper View Post
    In Sweden rape is when you touch a girl.
    Lol, we have laws that forbid you to give compliments without a girl's consent.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daysleeper View Post
    In Sweden rape is when you touch a girl.
    That's pretty much the state in Denmark as well

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gagi View Post
    Lol, we have laws that forbid you to give compliments without a girl's consent.
    Haha really? That's ridiculous! thanks #MeToo
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    Quote Originally Posted by PegaSus View Post
    Haha really? That's ridiculous! thanks #MeToo
    Yep. But really it's more against catcalling and stuff like that. Anyways, if the woman gets offended by the compliment or whatever, she can call the police and then the policeman decides what to do.
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    Anyone see the Jordan Peterson interview on Channel 4 (UK)? Debate about gender pay inequality...worth a watch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hensmon View Post
    Anyone see the Jordan Peterson interview on Channel 4 (UK)? Debate about gender pay inequality...worth a watch.
    Incredible. Not too long ago did I start hearing a word or two about him online, only recently did I watch some of his stuff. Found him boring because of his voice and the way he speaks. But this has turned me completely!

    The part that I like about him the most is the fact that, at least in his video, he doesn't always think there's just this one reason why something is happening, he's willing to think and to see it from all angles; he doesn't oversimplify for the sake of it. He handles that interviewer just like he should. She's just trying to provoke him the whole time, to make him crack, to get some sort of a scandal yet he does everything right. He doesn't let any single accusation be derived from his statements out of context. He says exactly what he means, not more, not less, and makes sure people understand that. Blew me away, this interview. Hate these types of journalists.
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    i play in a ska/rock band for the s of it once a week, and one of the songs we came up with is an hommage to "builder catcalling" in hopes of persuading the feminists to retract the ridiculous law thats now in effect in rotterdam, where you're fined if you wistle to a girl from a distance. Catcalling is now a punishable crime. State of the world i guess and Epstein didn't kill himself.

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  17. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetflag View Post
    i play in a ska/rock band for the s of it once a week, and one of the songs we came up with is an hommage to "builder catcalling" in hopes of persuading the feminists to retract the ridiculous law thats now in effect in rotterdam, where you're fined if you wistle to a girl from a distance. Catcalling is now a punishable crime. State of the world i guess and Epstein didn't kill himself.
    Catcalling is childish and idiotic, for certain, but a crime?

    The solution isn't to make it illegal to do just about anything that makes someone uncomfortable, but to eradicate unwanted behaviour through proper education. This current solution is too short-term, and it will blow back at some point. I don't think feminists (or at least the more extreme ones, who push for these changes) are even on women's side with this. I'm sure they want power.

    Anyways, why are the small minority able to do so much nowadays? Because not all women are extreme feminists, and not all are offended by such behaviour. The exaggeration present in the media is too large nowadays, they have a lot of influence. Just think about it, how many women you know who are extreme feminists? I personally hear of such only in the news (although we are a few decades behind when it comes to just about everything when you compare Serbia to the West). It's the media who propagate these things, write about what will get read and shared because it got people triggered. It's how Trump became president.

    Personally, I have no issue with that particular law because I do not catcall (although I can be prone to slight staring which even I don't like about myself) - and because I don't live there, obviously. But still, it will lead to more extreme laws, wait and see.

    Even more so, I feel for women, because there are men who are misogynistic, who act oppressive and dominate them in every way possible. There are beatings to which the police don't react, there is aggressive behaviour overall, the "you are mine" mentality which almost always accompanies jealousy. Personally, I'd rather we get rid of that, than implementing some stupid little law that will only make normal people not do what they already don't, and make the misogynists even more angry and bitter. There are people who kill because of jealousy. Is catcalling that important?
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    It's a great time to be gay

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    Quote Originally Posted by Voci View Post
    It's a great time to be gay
    You're still a man, aren't you?
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    Yes but the women #me too shizzle is something that doesnt effect me at all... thats what i meant..

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