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Thread: Depression (clinical that is, not the bad-mood variant)

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    Depression (clinical that is, not the bad-mood variant)

    Last year I've been diagnosed with (light, fortunatly) clinical depression and am currently living it. If you're in a similar position please share your experiences and advice. Anything is welcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jetflag View Post
    Last year I've been diagnosed with (light, fortunatly) clinical depression and am currently living it. If you're in a similar position please share your experiences and advice. Anything is welcome.
    For starters, do you mind sharing your experiences? How does it feel like, what are the/your symptoms? How does it affect your daily life?

    I'm gonna share my experience with the worst episode of depression (or whatever it was) via PM (lots of personal stuff there) in the hope it helps somehow. If nothing, at least in recognizing that you're not alone.
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    This may not be the case for yourself but the link between diet and depression is growing...

    Processed foods aside, the condition and health of the thyroid is key in mood regulation and hormone balance. Certain foods can be very bad for this, especially ones considered 'healthy'. Gluten/Wheat is a culprit. Lack of iron in the blood (anemia), would also cause depression and did so in my brother. You could get full blood work done/hormone profile and see if it reveals anything.

    Another anecdotal example I can give is of my friend who has very bad depression, but since dropping pasta and bread has seen big increase in energy, focus and some alleviation of his situation.

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    Thats weird cos cheap processed food like a KFC actually lifts my mood hehe...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gagi View Post
    For starters, do you mind sharing your experiences? How does it feel like, what are the/your symptoms? How does it affect your daily life?

    I'm gonna share my experience with the worst episode of depression (or whatever it was) via PM (lots of personal stuff there) in the hope it helps somehow. If nothing, at least in recognizing that you're not alone.
    I'll try:

    The physical sensations are akin to just being told that your (grand) parent(s) have died and you're being told another one has, every 10 minutes . This continiues throughout the day.

    - There's a constant pain between my chest and stomach. The pain itself does not have a very describable caracter. so its not as simple as Jabbin, Throbbing, burning or stinging pain. Its best described as "hollow" pain. a very constant and present pain-energy field directly below my rib-cage.

    - There's A slight burning sensation like the afterfeeling of just having gushed ice cold water on your skin, is present at the back of my head, slightly above where my neck ends and distributes itself roughly around 1/3e of my skull.

    -My amygdala is in full overdrive and triggers a wave of cortisol with every random thought or encounter. I can almost physically feel it gushing through my brain. Periods of light panic and elevated heartrate have a constant shift-change with periods of high fatigue and not wanting to do anything, not even breathe, since it takes efford.

    - my mood can best be described as painfully sad occasinally and fatigued most of the time but does have (fortunate) interludes with a sort of apathetic I-don't-care moods. In those moments my memory and reasoning capabilities still seem function normally but are most of the time unsuccesfull in overriding the feeling part. So I can remember and reason why I say, should be happy or gratefull at (x) moment, and act accordingly, but I don't experience the feeling of gratitude or happiness.



    I try to not let it affect previous daily life-routine as in, I manage to get out of bed (even though this takes severe efford) and eat and eventually go to work and/or do somehting that day. But i'm really not feeling it if you know what i mean. My relationship with my wife is still intact but under strain (its not nice to have a partner who's constantly tired, weak and not in the mood for anything) so I try to fake that as best as I can.


    My diet @Hensmon, is (afaik) healty and varied, no processed foods/junk and mostly home cooking so. biological meat/eggs, no lactose, home-made bread, lots of nuts, vegetables and fruits, liver etc. I stopped drinking alcohol half a year ago, try to sport or at least move 4 times a week or more.

    i didn't do a hormone profile, but my bloodtest came up as being perfectly fine.

    Current Pallatives are 1200/1500 gram of saint johns worth daily, temazepan for sleep in case of midnight panic attacks and oxezapan in case of severe amydala overdrive/very deep depression waves.
    Last edited by jetflag; 07-04-2019 at 15:24 PM.

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    Damn. I don't really have any advice. Just want to wish you strength and a speedy recovery.
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    This is much more serious than I thought. I assume you've seen a professional - they know much more than us.

    What did he/she/they say to you? Is this the first time this has happened to you? Anything in particular you think might've caused/contributed to this?

    I unfortunately have no advice. I've felt something similar to this (apathy especially) but not at this level. If I could say something though, I'd have to say that I think these things pass. If you've read the PM, you could see that I went through something bad (though maybe not as bad as this) - and I kept grinding, same as you, trying to not let it affect me. Unfortunately it will affect you, your relationships, your productivity etc, but maybe sometimes the right solution is finding the balance between stoicism and cutting yourself some slack, letting yourself feel sad, but not giving up or letting it overwhelm you.

    It gets even more complicated with the appearance of physical manifestations.

    I honestly don't know what to tell you, as I haven't been through it all to be able to provide any meaningful advice. I'm also not a professional either. My only concrete answer would be therapy and that's it - you seem to be taking care of the diet, medication etc. And do a hormone profile (testosterone, serotonin).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voci View Post
    Damn. I don't really have any advice. Just want to wish you strength and a speedy recovery.
    Dankewol for that m8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gagi View Post
    This is much more serious than I thought. I assume you've seen a professional - they know much more than us.

    What did he/she/they say to you? Is this the first time this has happened to you? Anything in particular you think might've caused/contributed to this?
    I'm in therapy atm yeah.. and there's a couple:.

    First there's a high chance of it being genetical: my mom suffers/ has suffered from depression as well as other members from her side of the family, Like my grandfather, uncle, or aunt who, actually, hung herself (not planning to do that anytime soon don't worry).


    Caracter wise I score high in openness, extraversion and agreeableness. whereas my wife is far more conscientious and lower in agreeableness. so imo a healthy counterbalance to my main caracter traits.. (she would, for instance, tell me its better to still try and sell instead of share productions that i'm not all that satisfied with)

    Living with her has been somewhat tough though, She's still in uni so I have to take care of virtually all the household costs, resulting in a nice, but frankly small appartment so there's that. And my depression did hit me when we where living together

    On top of that the relationship between my family and my spouse is currently on high-edge and deteriating (so basically the classic familiy mom-sister in law problems) but I don't see why that should bother me to the point of physical sickness.. I mean I can still have a relationship with both of them seperatly and thats the worse-case-scenario.


    Quote Originally Posted by Gagi View Post
    maybe sometimes the right solution is finding the balance between stoicism and cutting yourself some slack, letting yourself feel sad, but not giving up or letting it overwhelm you.
    I'll keep that in mind aswell as the hormone profile test. thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jetflag View Post
    I'm in therapy atm yeah.. and there's a couple:.

    First there's a high chance of it being genetical: my mom suffers/ has suffered from depression as well as other members from her side of the family, Like my grandfather, uncle, or aunt who, actually, hung herself (not planning to do that anytime soon don't worry).


    Caracter wise I score high in openness, extraversion and agreeableness. whereas my wife is far more conscientious and lower in agreeableness. so imo a healthy counterbalance to my main caracter traits.. (she would, for instance, tell me its better to still try and sell instead of share productions that i'm not all that satisfied with)

    Living with her has been somewhat tough though, She's still in uni so I have to take care of virtually all the household costs, resulting in a nice, but frankly small appartment so there's that. And my depression did hit me when we where living together

    On top of that the relationship between my family and my spouse is currently on high-edge and deteriating (so basically the classic familiy mom-sister in law problems) but I don't see why that should bother me to the point of physical sickness.. I mean I can still have a relationship with both of them seperatly and thats the worse-case-scenario.




    I'll keep that in mind aswell as the hormone profile test. thanks.
    I assume it hasn't come on randomly, something (or a combination of things) could've been a trigger (beside genetics). I was just reading up on it online, and as far as I can (albeit rather inexpertly) conclude, if it's genetics you're at risk, but something triggers it.

    And good job on lasting that long, still standing, still talking about it and seeking help and advice even after all these months.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetflag View Post
    i didn't do a hormone profile, but my bloodtest came up as being perfectly fine.
    I personally rate private blood tests (from online) than ones from my doctor. I started showing symptoms of thyroid issue and my doctore ordered me a test...results showed nothing to be concerned about. But she only asked for a test that looked at one aspect of thyroid issues and then later once going privately it discovered I had issues. Point is that private ones will be more thorough. Heavy metal toxicity is another thing I would look at...

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    How are you holding up @jetflag? How is therapy? Any improvements?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gagi View Post
    How are you holding up @jetflag? How is therapy? Any improvements?
    no. but I expect thats a bit too much to ask in anycase..In the event that depression is solved and/or passes, the time that it usually takes is a year at least, most of the time. cheers for asking

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    Quote Originally Posted by jetflag View Post
    no. but I expect thats a bit too much to ask in anycase..In the event that depression is solved and/or passes, the time that it usually takes is a year at least, most of the time. cheers for asking
    I hope that at least it's not getting worse. A year is a lot of time, but you're past most of it.
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    So, last week finally i had the courage and went to psychiatrist. He told me i don't have mental illness and prescribe me some light medications (Atarax to improve my sleep and Deanxit for anxiety). I have been taking them for 10 days but i don't see significant improvement - neither better nor worse. When i am worried about the future and have bout of anxiety it's seems like Deanxit suppress the symptoms but maybe it's placebo. At the end he referred me to psychotherapist or psychologist for my anxiety and self-esteem issues.

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