Does it need adjustments: Yes, a lot.
Tempo /bpm doesn’t matter, it could be 180 and still chaotic. Best advice would probably be to take an existing (good) track that you like/ fits what you’re trying to make. And take example/recreate that in terms of rhythm/ beats.
this teaches you a lot because besides learning to recreate, it also teaches you to listen in detail.
This is the best advice you already had. Maybe watch Youtube tutorial video's from for example Airbase.
It's nowhere near the level of semi-professional sounding music. It's not worthy of uploading it to Youtube, in my opinion. Have fun with creating music, learn how to make it better, and come back after a few years if you feel like you've massively improved.
There's enough people here to give technical advice and specific feedback, but I think it's too early for that at this stage. First learn the basics. And like I said, have fun with it.
