Some nice ideas there. I'd definitely try adding some groove/swing to the percussion. Really give the track a bit of funk!
Thank you. I added some swing, but I have to admit swing is something I can't get the hang of. Too little and I don't even notice it, too much and its a big mess. I also added some background noise.
I decided to make a demo . Atm I don't feel confident enough to produce without referencing a song, but wanted to see where I can go if I try something completely original. Keep in mind this is barebone and no automation or effects, but there is something in this demo I like very much. I also made it private and will only share it here.
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/eSknt