Society pushing itself outside their comfort zone

Progrez

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What I have experienced and observed is that people who push themselves way past their comfort zone live to regret or the system changes them beyond their control.

People who are not used to are subjected to hostile work environments and pressures and become targets from bullies and psychopath thugs who target your self esteem. Unfortunately, society encourages that behaviour and there is always a need to please everyone but what I have seen you cannot please everyone.

I was working for a public sector people come into work drunk and smoking cigarettes and the girls have sex with the team leaders to get ahead or fight the intense stress levels. No wonder why people end up on wheelchairs, and getting Neurodegenerative diseases.

What do you guys think? I think getting out of your confort zone is a bad thing.
 

dmgtz96

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That sounds like an awful work environment. Honestly, in the post #metoo era it feels anachronistic that women have sex with their team leaders to get ahead. Drinking and smoking are unfortunately some of the more common ways people cope with their problems due to stresses at work or in their personal life. You can make other decisions like going to the gym, taking fitness classes, meditating, or yoga instead of drinking and smoking, but the former group requires you to pretty much not be depressed or have a very strong desire to get out of depression.

I don't think getting out of your comfort zone is inherently bad. That's how you learn new skills and seize new opportunities.

At a certain point, likely in university or within the first few years of starting your career you realize you can't please everyone. And that's fine, because some people will just not like you for whatever reason. Maybe they don't like the way you look, they don't like your hair, skin color, the way you dress. Maybe when they first met you they got weird vibes from you. Maybe if you're a man the woman thinks you're so unattractive you're not worth talking to. You can only do so much to minimize the "discomfort" you cause others, and after a certain point it's best to avoid interactions with people that dislike you just for being you (assuming you're otherwise a perfectly normal person. If what you're doing approaches sexual harassment or could get you in trouble at work, then maybe reevaluate some aspects about yourself and work on that).
 
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Gagi

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Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone has to be personal, not systematic. You mustn't be forced to do anything you don't agree to, and you can and should be able to always say no.

A small side-note: Those bosses who slept with coworkers will one day lose their positions because of it. It's been happening for years, and it is now. Once the movement catches up there, they will be targeted. But I wanna ask: Who's at fault here? The bosses surely are for a lot of things, but if it was consensual and planned, I think both are at fault.

As far as personal thing goes, I know it's become a cliche, but leaving the comfort zone can be good for you. AND it's how you treat anxiety as well. I don't recommend living in your own bubble. That is, except if you're on the spectrum, then you might need a routine.

My views pretty much differ from yours on these topics, and I don't think it would be good for you to hear them at once since you seem to be dealing with a lot of issues. I think it's best for you if you see professionals, not random dudes on the internet who may or may not have any actual knowledge on these topics.
 
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jetflag

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What do you guys think? I think getting out of your confort zone is a bad thing.

100% aboard with Gagi on this one. in regards to the personal v systemic/systematic approach, but also in regards to "forum bro" advice.

So take this with a massive pinch of salt. But with the the exception of your specific work situation, Overall i would say no. Getting out of your comfort zone can or is a good thing as long as you're in control and its (semi) voluntairily. You do it every time you force yourself to work out or diet or basically do anything that conflicts with your brain's hyperbolic discounting, (google marshmellow test for a great demonstration of this) As a diagnosed high functioning autist myself, I would recommend taking it slow/ with a controlled routine, but also definitly don't remain in a kind of quote on quote safespace'esq limbo/ comfortzone indefinity. Instead keep those kind of liminal/oid spaces around for when you need recharging.

in a nutshell, getting out of your comfort zone (though there are like said limits and bounds to this) is what grows you as a person vs stagnates you as a person.
 
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BladeRunner_

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Yeah, there are protests for over 2 months. Our government is corrupted to the core and grossly incompetent. There is reason why we are the poorest country in Europe. Our prime minister doesn't speak any fucking english ffs. They are taking the piss at this point.

Massive riots is overstatement. There were some clashes between protesters and police but nothing major IMO. For the most part the protests are peaceful. I should go there but frankly i'm too apathetic.


And i hope EU cut the funding and stop feeding those criminals.


There were some leak photos of the prime minister with pistol and 2mln. euros inside the drawer next to his bed while he is sleeping.

 
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Gagi

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Yeah, there are protests for over 2 months. Our government is corrupted to the core and grossly incompetent. There is reason why we are the poorest country in Europe. Our prime minister doesn't speak any fucking english ffs. They are taking the piss at this point.

Massive riots is overstatement. There were some clashes between protesters and police but nothing major IMO. For the most part the protests are peaceful. I should go there but frankly i'm too apathetic.

And i hope EU cut the funding and stop feeding those criminals.

There were some leak photos of the prime minister with pistol and 2mln. euros inside the drawer next to his bed while he is sleeping.

Damn, no wonder we're neighbours. I guess it's the Balkan way. Though our protests ended a few months ago, for similar reasons (COVID-crisis-handling, corruption, deceit etc).

And on your PM, our King doesn't speak Serbian. Beat that! 😂
 

Progrez

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That sounds like an awful work environment. Honestly, in the post #metoo era it feels anachronistic that women have sex with their team leaders to get ahead. Drinking and smoking are unfortunately some of the more common ways people cope with their problems due to stresses at work or in their personal life. You can make other decisions like going to the gym, taking fitness classes, meditating, or yoga instead of drinking and smoking, but the former group requires you to pretty much not be depressed or have a very strong desire to get out of depression.

I don't think getting out of your comfort zone is inherently bad. That's how you learn new skills and seize new opportunities.

At a certain point, likely in university or within the first few years of starting your career you realize you can't please everyone. And that's fine, because some people will just not like you for whatever reason. Maybe they don't like the way you look, they don't like your hair, skin color, the way you dress. Maybe when they first met you they got weird vibes from you. Maybe if you're a man the woman thinks you're so unattractive you're not worth talking to. You can only do so much to minimize the "discomfort" you cause others, and after a certain point it's best to avoid interactions with people that dislike you just for being you (assuming you're otherwise a perfectly normal person. If what you're doing approaches sexual harassment or could get you in trouble at work, then maybe reevaluate some aspects about yourself and work on that).

I was being pressured to get out of my comfort zone. From my co-workers.
Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone has to be personal, not systematic. You mustn't be forced to do anything you don't agree to, and you can and should be able to always say no.

A small side-note: Those bosses who slept with coworkers will one day lose their positions because of it. It's been happening for years, and it is now. Once the movement catches up there, they will be targeted. But I wanna ask: Who's at fault here? The bosses surely are for a lot of things, but if it was consensual and planned, I think both are at fault.

As far as personal thing goes, I know it's become a cliche, but leaving the comfort zone can be good for you. AND it's how you treat anxiety as well. I don't recommend living in your own bubble. That is, except if you're on the spectrum, then you might need a routine.

My views pretty much differ from yours on these topics, and I don't think it would be good for you to hear them at once since you seem to be dealing with a lot of issues. I think it's best for you if you see professionals, not random dudes on the internet who may or may not have any actual knowledge on these topics.
Bosses are facing pressures from their partner and from work.Most guys will think with their dicks if they see a physically attractive girl. I have been a victim of gaslighting and I was targetted abd believe me I saw how numb people became after pushing themselves to the limit. I am now in the process of healing myself by helping a piano music store which has always been my dream. Stay away from the Corporate environment.
 
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Gagi

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These things aside, what are you hoping to achieve with this thread? I mean, this isn't the first thread where we hear about this. You post your bad experiences by using some abstract question or statement to get the discussion going, and then you just write about the same things over and over, not being interested in anything more than venting about your experiences and how you were the victim.
 
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dmgtz96

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These things aside, what are you hoping to achieve with this thread? I mean, this isn't the first thread where we hear about this. You post your bad experiences by using some abstract question or statement to get the discussion going, and then you just write about the same things over and over, not being interested in anything more than venting about your experiences and how you were the victim.
Yep. Nothing wrong with venting, but I think it would be best if he scheduled an appointment with a local therapist/psychologist.