I lost one of my close friends to suicide over 16 years ago - and it is something that is still very raw to this day. It still upsets me to the core when he pops into my head.
He never spoke about his state of mind, it was all hidden away in his own personal closed book of thoughts and feelings..so it came as a complete shock to me, his other friends, and his family when we heard the awful news. We were all devastated. Shell shocked.
The frustrating thing is that I firmly believe that if he had still been alive today, he would’ve spoken out about it all, because of there being so much talk about mental health in the media etc. I spoke about all of this with Bryan Kearney on one of his podcasts during lockdown to try and help some people that were struggling at the time.
The 2nd part to my story is that Paul’s favourite trance track was the Matt Darey remix of Westbam ‘Wizards Of the Sonic’, and it’s been my absolute number 1 favourite too since I first heard it in 1998.
The remix was played at Paul’s funeral and I promised him at the service that I’d do a remix of it for him one day. As the years have gone by I’ve tried and tried to do a remix, but it’s been too difficult for me and too upsetting. It was all too emotional to listen to and actually work on it, so time and time again I kept failing…BUT..I knew that one day I would complete it, when I was on a roll in the studio, and feeling confident and emotionally strong enough..
Roll on to present day and I’m delighted to tell you that I’ve just successfully managed to complete a remix of it that I’m extremely happy with! It’s not a traditional remix as such though,
it’s more of a remake of the Matt Darey remix, a version that’s been brought bang up to date and modernised with my own slightly techier sound. I had to stay close to the original, how do you improve something that’s perfect in every way?!
This remix won’t be released officially, so please don’t ask me for it. It won’t be given away to anyone, it’s not been remixed to benefit me in any way - it’s not for me, it’s not for you, this one is for you Paul..and I hope you love it mate
If you want to hear it then you’ll hear me playing it at Dreamstate in LA next weekend - and at all of my forthcoming gigs.
If you’re struggling with mental health issues or depression, please PLEASE speak to someone or seek help.
Don’t struggle alone, or in silence..help is available!
Much love to you all guys
Mark
www.junodownload.com
