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Progrez

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I want to get rid of mindset of following sports people. No doubt it can be wonderful and motivational for some but I just found out that I was losing myself and I never asked myself what I wanted in life. So, I will be stop following Federer and Nadal as they are earning way more than me and me just watching them just makes them richer and makes me feeling lost, confused further of finding my true self by working on hobbies, enjoying playing sports for fun.
 

Progrez

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0601_6453711952826189726_original.jpg


We are doing external insulation on the buildings. My job is on the ground and I'm preparing and supplying the guys on the ropes with materials.
Looks like a dangerous job like a window cleaner -
 
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Progrez

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One thing is making me wonder is that how are you expected to learn something when you get punished in life. Yes, scars leave lessons but they don't happen again and not to the point where you are unrecognisable, or drains you of your confidence.

Learning should be pragmatic, structural, and practical and fun and enjoyable to both parties.

I could be wrong.
 
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jetflag

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so me and the misses did a good bid on a house nearby to proceed with the family so to speak. Bid got accepted, contract setup, all was well.

30 minutes after they send the contract I get a call. We're cancelling, you've been overbid by half a ton or so.

fucking estate agents 😡 the fuck ever happened to a man a man a word a word.

c*nts.
 

Progrez

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so me and the misses did a good bid on a house nearby to proceed with the family so to speak. Bid got accepted, contract setup, all was well.

30 minutes after they send the contract I get a call. We're cancelling, you've been overbid by half a ton or so.

fucking estate agents 😡 the fuck ever happened to a man a man a word a word.

c*nts.
Have you asked them to reconsider?
 

jetflag

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Have you asked them to reconsider?
no, i'm not going to play the game on their terms. I'll find us another place and when my son is old enough they might just "accidently and completely not on purpose" get a football through the window
 
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Progrez

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no, i'm not going to play the game on their terms. I'll find us another place and when my son is old enough they might just "accidently and completely not on purpose" get a football through the window
Wow, you already have a family. That must be tough sadly, I cannot start one because I don't even have a partner and most of them are looking for guys who can provide them with good looks and money. I have neither at the moment.
 

jetflag

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Wow, you already have a family. That must be tough sadly, I cannot start one because I don't even have a partner and most of them are looking for guys who can provide them with good looks and money. I have neither at the moment.
Common misconception m8. money and looks help/ make it a bit easier but its fundamentally not what women look for in a guy..at least in my experience

also, i'm 37 m8, i'm nearing a midlife crisis lol
 
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Gagi

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One of my closest friends is so flaky and nonchalant about it I sometimes want to beat him to a pulp with a drive shaft.
 
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Gagi

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ah that "one friend in your group" ey?
I have two, actually. But I'm lucky enough that the other one lives far away, otherwise I would have been sentenced to 40 years in prison by now. Also, this doesn't happen all the time, but it happens like 30% of the time.

And what's baffling is that their nonchalant attitude is so fun in other ways and they are really fun to hang around... But you can't depend on them all the time.
 
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dmgtz96

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Common misconception m8. money and looks help/ make it a bit easier but its fundamentally not what women look for in a guy..at least in my experience

also, i'm 37 m8, i'm nearing a midlife crisis lol
Being interesting and fun to be around is much more important, IMO. Like, you can earn six figures (>85335 euro), go to the gym for 3 years and get super buff, but if you're boring and your communication skills are shit what are you going to do in a date? Never mind if you're shy... no date for you.
edit: also, religion & pets

I have two, actually. But I'm lucky enough that the other one lives far away, otherwise I would have been sentenced to 40 years in prison by now. Also, this doesn't happen all the time, but it happens like 30% of the time.

And what's baffling is that their nonchalant attitude is so fun in other ways and they are really fun to hang around... But you can't depend on them all the time.
Are these guys studying a super intensive/demanding major to the point that they can't do stuff with you? Or are they more like "sure, let's hang out this weekend." Cancels weekend plans with you on Friday afternoon
Without knowing these guys in person, it sounds like they are getting pulled in many different directions, especially if they are as nonchalant and fun to hang around as you mention.
 

Progrez

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Common misconception m8. money and looks help/ make it a bit easier but its fundamentally not what women look for in a guy..at least in my experience

also, i'm 37 m8, i'm nearing a midlife crisis lol
I thought women look for a man who can be a good provider for both money and status and someone who can bring in good social status as well. Over here, many women are choosing guys with money and especially the girls in my native country nowadays as the old ways have changed. They've become more westernised, like taking up alcohol, smoking and taking drugs and getting tattoos which I am not a fan.
Being interesting and fun to be around is much more important, IMO. Like, you can earn six figures (>85335 euro), go to the gym for 3 years and get super buff, but if you're boring and your communication skills are shit what are you going to do in a date? Never mind if you're shy... no date for you.
edit: also, religion & pets


Are these guys studying a super intensive/demanding major to the point that they can't do stuff with you? Or are they more like "sure, let's hang out this weekend." Cancels weekend plans with you on Friday afternoon
Without knowing these guys in person, it sounds like they are getting pulled in many different directions, especially if they are as nonchalant and fun to hang around as you mention.
That's my biggest problem, I am not interesting to be around. People repel me not because they mean to but I just like being quiet and I do have social anxiety when I around certain people. Whether it be at work or what not and I can tell when people have various levels of depression. From their point of view, they think I don't love myself enough
 
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dmgtz96

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I thought women look for a man who can be a good provider for both money and status and someone who can bring in good social status as well.
Eh, kinda? If you're a NEET, you date no one. You need to have a job. Let's say you're an Amazon warehouse worker. Guess who you can date? Starbucks baristas and other people working in retail, fast food, and so on. . You're a middle manager in some Fortune 500 company - cool, you can still date those people and other office employees (maybe not at your company but somewhere else). Usually people end up with those in the same/similar socioeconomic status.
I won't lie, if you're a hot-shot millionaire start-up CEO you can probably get a lot of dates and sleep with tons of women, but it doesn't sound like that is what you want. You want to start a family.
That's my biggest problem, I am not interesting to be around. People repel me not because they mean to but I just like being quiet and I do have social anxiety when I around certain people. Whether it be at work or what not and I can tell when people have various levels of depression. From their point of view, they think I don't love myself enough and quite frankly, I like being Boring.
Some friends do appreciate quiet people, especially if you're a good listener.
My recommendation to you is to find yourself a boring girl. You probably won't get with the hot, bubbly 20-something coworker that goes to bars/clubbing every weekend and is the center of attention of the entire office, but you can probably get with Linda from HR that is shy, watches TV series and likes to stay in on weekends.
 
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Progrez

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Eh, kinda? If you're a NEET, you date no one. You need to have a job. Let's say you're an Amazon warehouse worker. Guess who you can date? Starbucks baristas and other people working in retail, fast food, and so on. . You're a middle manager in some Fortune 500 company - cool, you can still date those people and other office employees (maybe not at your company but somewhere else). Usually people end up with those in the same/similar socioeconomic status.
I won't lie, if you're a hot-shot millionaire start-up CEO you can probably get a lot of dates and sleep with tons of women, but it doesn't sound like that is what you want. You want to start a family.

Some friends do appreciate quiet people, especially if you're a good listener.
My recommendation to you is to find yourself a boring girl. You probably won't get with the hot, bubbly 20-something coworker that goes to bars/clubbing every weekend and is the center of attention of the entire office, but you can probably get with Linda from HR that is shy, watches TV series and likes to stay in on weekends.
Well, I have nothing wrong with the hot girl but not if they go to clubs and drink alcohol. That's a huge turn off. I would just like someone who will be by my side no matter what. I also want someone who is gorgeous too and treats her family well. I am 33 I highly doubt I will be able to find a connection with someone who is 20 something year old. I am being found as a good listener sometimes but not always I do make mistakes every now and then. I have sleep apnea which is super annoying
 
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Gagi

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Are these guys studying a super intensive/demanding major to the point that they can't do stuff with you? Or are they more like "sure, let's hang out this weekend." Cancels weekend plans with you on Friday afternoon
Without knowing these guys in person, it sounds like they are getting pulled in many different directions, especially if they are as nonchalant and fun to hang around as you mention.
It's the second thing. Pulled or not, it's the attitude that annoys the most in these situations. It's not just cancelling plans, they are nonchalant about everything regarding other people.

Would love to have a bit of that myself, it's probably easier on your nerves to be less considerate (without as much of a negative effect).
 
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jetflag

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I thought women look for a man who can be a good provider for both money and status and someone who can bring in good social status as well. Over here, many women are choosing guys with money and especially the girls in my native country nowadays as the old ways have changed. They've become more westernised, like taking up alcohol, smoking and taking drugs and getting tattoos which I am not a fan.
Ok, relationshipadviser sociologyspecialist siegmundfreud Jetflag speaking here: who has 0 degrees on this subject and isn't exactly don Juan himself. So,take this with a massive pinch of salt, That being said and since we are on a predominatly male forum (fem trigger warning) and are speaking from personal experience:

here's my (blunt) take on it:

Women, on average are attracted to/ marry a man who is, (or places himself<and that part is important), in some way or another (slightly) above them. now again, this could be in terms of status/wealth, but its not the prime attraction driver.

Biologically/evolutionairy speaking (so not culturally): its true that women look for strong genes/providers. However, since women do not have an instant DNA test-nose nor a means of finding out what the actual status of man they meet is, aside from what he shows/communicates too her, they test men in order to find out and (again on average) marry/ are attracted to those men who either are, (or place themselves) in some way or another (slightly) above them. now again, this could be in terms of status/wealth, but its not the prime driver of attraction

men are (on average) mainly sexually attracted to physical traits (tits hips blush, youthfullness you name it) whereas women are mainly attracted to personality traits (is this man a potential leader? does he display confidence? does he take initiative? its he capable etc.)

There's plenty of guys who's younger wife outearns them, is prettier then them, yet those women still feel an attraction and it all boils down to their additude/demeaner/ communication. I didn't get to marry my wife because i'm such a pretty boy with lots of money and status. what I did do however is convince her in a very big nutshell that i'm at the very bare least, a reliable, strong (minded) invididual, who can take charge if neccesairy without being tyrannical and yes, who can provide for the offspring, in case she loses her income or decides to quit. Now things like humor and personal hygiëne and what not also play a part ofcourse, but you get my drift I hope.

To give you a very cruel example in the real world:

The girl of the A* jobless, ugly brute who on occasion even beats her, on average feels more sexual/physical attraction to him, then the girl who's just had a date with a B* pretty metro-man driving a Tesla who places her on a massive pedastal, 5 minutes into the date. (and this is, in case you where wondering, the reason why women so often return or want to return to their abusive husbands/loverboys, and why, in the sexual market, "nice guys" finish last. terrible and unfair as that may be)

What is noticable here is that the aforementioned stereotypical loverboys are very good at faking (personality) virtues in order to generate loads and loads of attraction to the girls he seeks to abuse. This is a terrible, but nontheless very succesfull strategy that any decent/non abusive male that wants a nice reciprocal reationship with a girl can employ, even though he is not high on the hierarchical ladder.

That's my biggest problem, I am not interesting to be around. People repel me not because they mean to but I just like being quiet and I do have social anxiety when I around certain people. Whether it be at work or what not and I can tell when people have various levels of depression. From their point of view, they think I don't love myself enough

so, make yourself more interresting to be around. Grow stronger, train your confidence, you can train your mind in the same way you can train your body,
you're already working on your (emotional) self control via meditation so thats a big plus already.

also. you being the introvert/quite type isn't neccesairly a bad thing attraction wise.. The quiet, reserved, "mysterious" man is (in my experience at least) often more attractive for women then the hyper-extrovert soy-boy constantly trying to get attention from everyone.

my 2 cents.

also. In reference to what you're looking for in a partner. Setting priorities/ lowering your standards to match accordingly makes things easier. remember, you can generate attraction with women who look up to you or what you communicate to them. That doesn't mean you can 1 attract all women you lay your eyes on no matter how confident and "skilled" you are and 2. the higher you aim the harder you make things for yourself.
 
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jetflag

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Well, I have nothing wrong with the hot girl but not if they go to clubs and drink alcohol. That's a huge turn off. I would just like someone who will be by my side no matter what. I also want someone who is gorgeous too and treats her family well. I am 33 I highly doubt I will be able to find a connection with someone who is 20 something year old. I am being found as a good listener sometimes but not always I do make mistakes every now and then. I have sleep apnea which is super annoying
also also: you have the added advantage of being a male. Us males can take our time with things longer then women, who's sort of have to have their family/career etc. in order by the time they're 30, after which "chances" if you will. begin to deminish.

now as cruel as a mistress nature may be. this does create, especially in this current day and age. a large pool of nearing 30's pretty and single women who're really on the hunt for a stable partner with wich to start a family.
 
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dmgtz96

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Well, I have nothing wrong with the hot girl but not if they go to clubs and drink alcohol. That's a huge turn off. I would just like someone who will be by my side no matter what. I also want someone who is gorgeous too and treats her family well. I am 33 I highly doubt I will be able to find a connection with someone who is 20 something year old. I am being found as a good listener sometimes but not always I do make mistakes every now and then. I have sleep apnea which is super annoying
Are you religious at all?
I'm asking because you specifically want qualifies (no clubbing/alcohol) that you would normally find in someone that is religious. If not, it's going to be extremely hard to find someone, especially if you yourself have very little to offer.

2. the higher you aim the harder you make things for yourself.
There's a saying on r/mexico, "el que escoge no coge." Loosely translated, "he who chooses, does not fuck."
It's pretty accurate. If you just want a random hookup, you can find out how easy that is just by lowering your standards. And I'm not a ladies man either, just happened to be in a college party at the right time.

now as cruel as a mistress nature may be. this does create, especially in this current day and age. a large pool of nearing 30's pretty and single women who're really on the hunt for a stable partner with wich to start a family.
I haven't reached this age, but my impression is that (without going too deep into MRA/TRP/incel) if they're 30 and single:

1) They got married young, right after college, and just divorced
2) They just left a long-term relationship of several years because the guy didn't want to settle and start a family. No talks of "marriage" at all
3) They slept around in their 20s and now want to find a good man to settle with.

I'd screen for #1 and #2, but if I were Progrez I probably wouldn't go for #3.
 
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