What's on your mind today?

jetflag

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1) They got married young, right after college, and just divorced
2) They just left a long-term relationship of several years because the guy didn't want to settle and start a family. No talks of "marriage" at all
3) They slept around in their 20s and now want to find a good man to settle with.

I'd screen for #1 and #2, but if I were Progrez I probably wouldn't go for #3.
oh I second that, and I didn't say just pick any, just that, attractive women become a hell of a lot more interrested in getting serious if they're 30 and single :)
 
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dmgtz96

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time to polder in a new piece of land. But I wouldn't suspect Mark Rot is enough of a visionairy for that.
We need a worldwide ban on instutional real estate investors. Sell homes to people that will live in them, not that will use them for "investments."
 
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Progrez

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Are you religious at all?
I'm asking because you specifically want qualifies (no clubbing/alcohol) that you would normally find in someone that is religious. If not, it's going to be extremely hard to find someone, especially if you yourself have very little to offer.


There's a saying on r/mexico, "el que escoge no coge." Loosely translated, "he who chooses, does not fuck."
It's pretty accurate. If you just want a random hookup, you can find out how easy that is just by lowering your standards. And I'm not a ladies man either, just happened to be in a college party at the right time.


I haven't reached this age, but my impression is that (without going too deep into MRA/TRP/incel) if they're 30 and single:

1) They got married young, right after college, and just divorced
2) They just left a long-term relationship of several years because the guy didn't want to settle and start a family. No talks of "marriage" at all
3) They slept around in their 20s and now want to find a good man to settle with.

I'd screen for #1 and #2, but if I were Progrez I probably wouldn't go for #3.
I am not religious. My parents go Marry whomever you want but it would be hard finding someone like me who hasn't been in a relationship before and wants to know what it feels. I am just not into the whole clubbing and alcohol thing it just a turn off for me. I would choose neither of them because mainly #1 and #2 and #3 come with a lot of emotional baggage which is not what I am looking for in a woman/girl.
 

jetflag

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I am not religious. My parents go Marry whomever you want but it would be hard finding someone like me who hasn't been in a relationship before and wants to know what it feels. I am just not into the whole clubbing and alcohol thing it just a turn off for me. I would choose neither of them because mainly #1 and #2 and #3 come with a lot of emotional baggage which is not what I am looking for in a woman/girl.
k, i'm going to say something you're not going to like. So apologies in advance, but its the cold hard truth/tough love.

If these are your (what I would call ridiciously high) standards that you're not willing to compromise/deviate from:

- attractive 20 year old +
- never been in a relationship before/divorced
- very virtuous in terms of clubbing/alcohol what have you without the religiousity factor
- 0 emotional baggage and fitting perfectly to your specific personality

You're not going to find a partner. Period. Or at the very least the chances of you doing so are astronomically low. The only option I'd say you would have when it comes to that is go to thailand or some other poor developing country and try and find a bride there.
 
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Gagi

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Some cold hard truth for you guys too - even though you are being helpful, you're not helping. You're just validating the attention-seeking behaviour of a man who will continue to make everything about himself, play the victim card and make excuses as to why he can't act on the (good) advice you're giving him.
 
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jetflag

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Some cold hard truth for you guys too - even though you are being helpful, you're not helping. You're just validating the attention-seeking behaviour of a man who will continue to make everything about himself, play the victim card and make excuses as to why he can't act on the (good) advice you're giving him.

eh..I wouldn't call having actual PTSD playing a victim card, but other then that yeah. it is ultimatly up to @Progrez to walk though the door, tough as it might be, us plebs can only show it to him.

I for one think he can, because there was a time in my life when I was in a simmilar ditch, and I managed to crawl out of it so why not him :)

it'll be a grind no doubt. but it is definitly possible.
 
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Gagi

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eh..I wouldn't call having actual PTSD playing a victim card, but other then that yeah. it is ultimatly up to @Progrez to walk though the door, tough as it might be, us plebs can only show it to him.

I for one think he can, because there was a time in my life when I was in a simmilar ditch, and I managed to crawl out of it so why not him :)

it'll be a grind no doubt. but it is definitly possible.
You're essentially right, it is possible to recover and thrive, but I think professional help would be the best option if the goal is that. Professional help, regular physical activity, socialization and accountability are the things that will bring long-term and meaningful results. And that's the best advice you can give, in my opinion. It is a grind for sure, but with the right mindset everything is possible.
 

dmgtz96

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Some cold hard truth for you guys too - even though you are being helpful, you're not helping. You're just validating the attention-seeking behaviour of a man who will continue to make everything about himself, play the victim card and make excuses as to why he can't act on the (good) advice you're giving him.
Validation would be more like agreeing to everything that he is saying without question and going all "yes, women just want men who can provide and bring in their social status and good looks," basically going deep into TRP/MRA/Incel territory. Trying to treat him like I would have done to an IRL friend, proposing solutions.
After his last response I am no longer interested in this discussion. It's the same that I would do for an IRL friend that doesn't want to be helped.

For what it's worth, telling someone "seek professional help" is equally futile. So there is that.


k, i'm going to say something you're not going to like. So apologies in advance, but its the cold hard truth/tough love.

If these are your (what I would call ridiciously high) standards that you're not willing to compromise/deviate from:

- attractive 20 year old +
- never been in a relationship before/divorced
- very virtuous in terms of clubbing/alcohol what have you without the religiousity factor
- 0 emotional baggage and fitting perfectly to your specific personality

You're not going to find a partner. Period. Or at the very least the chances of you doing so are astronomically low. The only option I'd say you would have when it comes to that is go to thailand or some other poor developing country and try and find a bride there.
Agreed. If Progrez were religious and knew how to sing/play the guitar (i.e. church band kind of guy), he could get what he wants. But that's not going to happen. You can't fake spirituality just for this.
 
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Gagi

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Yeah I appreciate you guys trying to help (we all want him to get better), but I feel it starts with him and he's not really open to taking advice or accepting some things. But I think you've realized that too.
 
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dmgtz96

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Yeah I appreciate you guys trying to help (we all want him to get better), but I feel it starts with him and he's not really open to taking advice or accepting some things. But I think you've realized that too.
Exactly. I've been there and even had a friend give me the same kind of pep talk when I wasn't able to find a summer job. Unfortunately, there is only so much another person can do.
 
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LostLegend

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I think we all have an idea in our mind of who our perfect partner would be.

The thing is, when I think back to the relationships I've had that were the most fulfilling, those people rarely meet many of these traits.
Chemistry between 2 people is very hard to quantify. Sometimes people just 'click'

Saying that though, I'm currently single, so take that opinion with a massive pinch of salt :LOL:
 

Progrez

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I wonder if it's possible to copy radioshows on a vinyl
Yeah I appreciate you guys trying to help (we all want him to get better), but I feel it starts with him and he's not really open to taking advice or accepting some things. But I think you've realized that too.
Oh, I am open for taking advice but if I take too much it will confuse me even more. I feel I might need some actual professional help and in person too. I appreciate your advice.

Anyway, this is a conversation I had with Kamil Polner when I message him about 10 years ago asking him to come back.

I must confess that i was influenced with tech/prog/electro style too much before i quit from producing. Maybe today i will be one of that $$$ Dj's .... who jumped to fast driving machinery train. If you jump in, it will take you far away from your actual standings, i hope do you understand this similitude :)
As far as i know, if you want to be successful, you have to sacrifice your honour or health. Sometimes both thats worst case. Armin sacrificed honour as first for example, but now he fell too much inside that big machinery and he is continuing to sacrifice health and probably his whole life (night life, alcohol, maybe drugs,too much noise, often changing timezones will bring "its bad fruit" soon, you know what it means..)

So mate why i am writing these words... I will tell you a true story that happened in last years in my life..

I almost lost my life when i was on top of my career.. Really i started to die slowly. It came from nowhere, death is really silent opponent. When someone is gonna die, he knows that he is gonna lose "everything". Is there anything we don't lose when we die? Money, house, car, wife, parents, childrens, pleasure, fun ? ... .. everything ends for us and we are alone then. You can trust me ,we are able to beg for our life in that moment, we are capable to do unbelievable things to stay alive. So i started to pray to God, asking Him for saving my life even i didn't believe in Him at that time. And He did it, He saved my life and also did a lot more for me. I met Him personally and He changed me in way that no on else could do. From that moment He is allways first in my life. I left bad things far behind me, because He forgave me everything without at least one blaming words for my sins.. Why? Because His Son Jesus dies for all of us already. So sacrifice for us was done, price was paid, now we have only to say if we agree or not. Who agree will receive life and everything with it, plus a lot more. Music was only one of things i just stopped then. Often i hear that from people that God is using what He gave us - talent. But we have to be patient and willing to search, what is His will. Not too much time passed and i became sound master in our christian meetings :)
Also i was asked to start producing music many times, so maybe someday i will start again. But of course not as before, because "producing for producing" means nothing. I can make awesome work but all that work is for my own name - which is gonna to be lost. But making music with love and passion for God means you will get your reward from God ;) Reward that noone can steal from you, even not death.

So i think thats enough for now, i will be happy if you will write some words back :)

Kamil
 
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Progrez

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Some cold hard truth for you guys too - even though you are being helpful, you're not helping. You're just validating the attention-seeking behaviour of a man who will continue to make everything about himself, play the victim card and make excuses as to why he can't act on the (good) advice you're giving him.
What was it that said that gave off that attention seeking behaviour and always playing the victim card.
 

Progrez

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k, i'm going to say something you're not going to like. So apologies in advance, but its the cold hard truth/tough love.

If these are your (what I would call ridiciously high) standards that you're not willing to compromise/deviate from:

- attractive 20 year old +
- never been in a relationship before/divorced
- very virtuous in terms of clubbing/alcohol what have you without the religiousity factor
- 0 emotional baggage and fitting perfectly to your specific personality

You're not going to find a partner. Period. Or at the very least the chances of you doing so are astronomically low. The only option I'd say you would have when it comes to that is go to thailand or some other poor developing country and try and find a bride there.
No thanks I don't want someone from Thailand, I think there might be language barriers and it would be hard finding anything in common. Please go ahead I am not offended at all. I suppose I am speaking very naively when it comes to relationship when I have never been in one.
 
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jetflag

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aight well, Now you know, at least theoretically and from a nerdy forum of trance music admirers:p, what it takes to get in one, and in summery it boils down to:
1 improving yourself/presenting yourself
2 adjusting/lowering standards.

good luck(y) 🍺
 

jetflag

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I wonder if it's possible to copy radioshows on a vinyl

Oh, I am open for taking advice but if I take too much it will confuse me even more. I feel I might need some actual professional help and in person too. I appreciate your advice.

Anyway, this is a conversation I had with Kamil Polner when I message him about 10 years ago asking him to come back.

I must confess that i was influenced with tech/prog/electro style too much before i quit from producing. Maybe today i will be one of that $$$ Dj's .... who jumped to fast driving machinery train. If you jump in, it will take you far away from your actual standings, i hope do you understand this similitude :)
As far as i know, if you want to be successful, you have to sacrifice your honour or health. Sometimes both thats worst case. Armin sacrificed honour as first for example, but now he fell too much inside that big machinery and he is continuing to sacrifice health and probably his whole life (night life, alcohol, maybe drugs,too much noise, often changing timezones will bring "its bad fruit" soon, you know what it means..)

So mate why i am writing these words... I will tell you a true story that happened in last years in my life..

I almost lost my life when i was on top of my career.. Really i started to die slowly. It came from nowhere, death is really silent opponent. When someone is gonna die, he knows that he is gonna lose "everything". Is there anything we don't lose when we die? Money, house, car, wife, parents, childrens, pleasure, fun ? ... .. everything ends for us and we are alone then. You can trust me ,we are able to beg for our life in that moment, we are capable to do unbelievable things to stay alive. So i started to pray to God, asking Him for saving my life even i didn't believe in Him at that time. And He did it, He saved my life and also did a lot more for me. I met Him personally and He changed me in way that no on else could do. From that moment He is allways first in my life. I left bad things far behind me, because He forgave me everything without at least one blaming words for my sins.. Why? Because His Son Jesus dies for all of us already. So sacrifice for us was done, price was paid, now we have only to say if we agree or not. Who agree will receive life and everything with it, plus a lot more. Music was only one of things i just stopped then. Often i hear that from people that God is using what He gave us - talent. But we have to be patient and willing to search, what is His will. Not too much time passed and i became sound master in our christian meetings :)
Also i was asked to start producing music many times, so maybe someday i will start again. But of course not as before, because "producing for producing" means nothing. I can make awesome work but all that work is for my own name - which is gonna to be lost. But making music with love and passion for God means you will get your reward from God ;) Reward that noone can steal from you, even not death.

So i think thats enough for now, i will be happy if you will write some words back :)

Kamil
Kamil's an absolute lad.

i'm really thankfull he managed to finish the Sol remix for me before he decided to proverbially hang the DAW in the willows to find peace of mind in where he is now.
 

dmgtz96

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Some cold harsh ideas I'm thinking about at freaking 7 AM:
  • Not every society wants to be Western progressive liberal democratic capitalist, and that should not be held as the "gold standard" for societies worldwide
  • Machismo will always exist, and no number of progressive politicians and policies will change that
  • LGBTQ+ rights will always be in a tug of war against religion and society's general conservative values. There will always be a critical mass of people unwilling to accept LGBTQ+ for who they are, their lifestyle, or who simply don't care about LGBTQ+ rights
    • Society has way too many problems to care much about LGBTQ+ to begin with
  • Women's rights will be at odds with men's rights
  • If a society's 20- and 30-something year-olds are unable to buy homes, are saddled with debt, and decide to put off having children, that society will eventually implode
  • If a society's young men are un/underemployed, un/undereducated, and have no hope for the future, that society will eventually collapse. The economic impact will be massive even if women take up most of the good jobs. With time, there will be a wacko that rises to power by promising jobs and wives to these men... by stripping away women's rights and education.

Jordan Peterson liked that. (Maybe)
Thoughts @Gagi @jetflag?

Maybe I should just finish drinking my coffee..
 
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