How we used to live (serious topic)

[Exodom]

I quit all social media 2 months ago. Feels good as you guys know. I didn't have a problem with it, but now I spend less time on the screen with blue light and with bad posture. More bored at first, then less bored. The only social I have is this forum, but this is pure love for the music, and the discussions are interesting. The content does not disappear to be consumed by the next thing. Even reddit I stopped because it's the same behaviour of FB really. Boy do I wish forums were the only social media. Just anonymous lads jerking each other off over shared interests. So wholesome.

 

[Archon]

I feel cheated. I didn't get jerked off by anyone here.

 

[Julian Del Agranda]

I feel cheated. I didn't get jerked off by anyone here.

And whos fault is that?

 

[Jetflag]

I feel cheated. I didn't get jerked off by anyone here.

i blame the mostly male crowd,

(and your personal homophobia, Gagi, Voci's clearly willing to lend you a helping hand, quite literally)

 

[Archon]

Up next: YouTube!

Man, that one has a grip that's bigger than anything else. Music, for instance. And then there's the stuff I generally like, cars, food, humour, astrophysics and what have you. Pretty much the only one I don't think I can do without. I'm not even sure how I can reduce it, to be honest (and I've tried and I'm trying!). You can't even uninstall it on your phone.

My big curse is that everything interests me, and I want to know more about everything. And it's so accessible nowadays. I love that about myself, but more often than not it comes at the expense of stuff that doesn't generally interest me but has a higher priority.

 

[Katadunkass]

Alright, so I know I might be the dark horse here, but technology and digital communication have actually made my life not only easier, but actually saved it, socially.
When I was a kid I had ONE great friend - like, we were truly best friends. We did everything together, played football way past our bedtime, ate together, played, had fun and even did our homework. Sometime back in 1999 my parents split (on good terms) and I had to move. Not only move to a different, school, but a different city. I lost all contact with my best friend like with a snap of a finger and it broke me.
The kids at my new school were all lovely people and some of them I spend most of my young/teenage life with; We, of course, had a blast together and I even fell in love with one of them. The years were fantastic and we never once thought about technology or computers. Sure, we had LAN-parties and such, but 90% of our time together we spend on board-games, football, walks and so on.

Fast forward a couple of years and life happens, as always; My friends moved to a new city which suited their specific dreams, but not me; I've always been incredibly shy, an introvert if you want, and I could never in a million years see myself living in a big city. So, I stayed back, knowing I would lose contact with them over time - and of course that was what happened. Now, I only talk to 2-3 of them maybe once a year. It wasn't like that at first, we tried to remain contact, but as everything else it naturally faded into nothing.

Back home I made new.... "friends"... I write that in quotes, but that's not a bad thing; I love these people, but they are not.... FRIENDS like the other ones used to be. Of course, having friends as an adult is different than when you were a kid, but these people I know and like, but I never miss them the same way I miss my old friends.

So, where does technology and digital communication come into the picture? Well, pretty much back in 2010 when I discovered various forums (Like the old TranceFix). As said before, I'm incredibly shy in person, but not here; Not when I don't have to BE WITH someone. This is not only where I feel comfortable "talking" to people, this is actually my safe-space. Discord have been a huge part of my social life for the past couple of years and I've honestly made what I would consider to be friends (Like, truly friends!). Knowing myself, I doubt that would ever happen if I didn't trust in myself on various digital platforms. I know how I feel when being around people and I know how I feel when writing this, to you and everyone else. Technology made it possible for me to talk to and with someone again and socially I haven't been happier since my early teens.

Now, this doesn't mean technology doesn't have its downsides, of course it does; I rarely use Facebook (if ever), I'm not on Instagram and all that and Youtube I pretty much only use for a couple of subscriptions - too much of anything can be bad and that's why I'm always aware of how much time I spend on various platforms like Reddit, Twitter and Twitch, but as for talking to people and actually be happy "around" people and opening up to new faces I haven't been happier for ages. Naturally I still love being outside and being away from the PC (I run alot, I walk, I love spending time outside just thinking about life and stuff), but when it comes to everything else; Forums like these and Discord have made my life much easier.

 

[Archon]

First of all, when I say a social network is bad, I say that because it has a negative influence on me - either I spend too much time there, or I've just found the negatives outweigh the positives - that's why I never complain about FB Messenger, WhatsApp etc.

I kinda know how you feel, albeit with a few differences.

I'm also finding it a lot easier to communicate online with a lot of people, even strangers, on my issues and passions - you've seen my long posts here. In person, I'm not shy but I usually just try to make other people laugh, have a good time or just have small talk. I don't burden people with constant complaining because I don't like it myself, I'm not negative (even though I'm certainly not positive about many things). Just try to be easy-going, that's my personality. But online, I can communicate more honestly, and writing forces me to think more, which improves me. In any case, keeping up with friends is a lot easier, although I definitely prefer to see some, rather than text (but not all).

 

[BladeRunner_]

Ever since I got internet at home I noticed that I was getting more and more alienated from my peers and as a result became my nemesis later in life. I was very shy and anxious around people as a kid but still manage to make friendships easily. It was somehow more natural and spontaneous process. Now at least for me is next to impossible to make friends. I'm more cynical and I'm scared to be judged. And I know adults judge a lot. It's incredibly difficult for me to open up to people if I don't trust them. My two best friends are from my childhood. We know each other since first grade. Sadly one of them lives in Germany and has a family (I am really happy about him). If I succeed to connect with someone I connect on really deep level. That's who I am. I had some of those so called "online friends" but never felt this deep connection with them. And nowdays if u want to date someone it seems like you need to be in those dating apps and I hate the idea algorithm to determine my relationships.

I don't know... It's not surprising so many of us are hopelessly depressed. Those communities we had as a kids are gone.


Man, I miss 90's. I used to be happier back then.

It's a sunny day here, I'm going to play some tennis in the afternoon and actually can't fucking wait. Still love being outside. Until then I'm going to stare at my screen for a few more hours...

 

[Archon]

My niece (who's in 2nd grade of elementary school) came back from a 7-day excursion to a mountain with her schoolmates. Incidentally, our school students have been going there much before me as well, and I went there a couple of times.

It's a simple hotel, with a beautiful inclined grassy field outside, surrounded by trees, and always seemed so cut away from the outside world.

I remember being in 1st grade, having the time of my life there. You're with your classmates, your only friends at that age, and you go around and see and discover a great piece of our history, you climb a mountain and come to a majestic view, you have parties almost every night, competitions (such as costumes), you play outside, or travel by bus... Even the odd chore or two didn't feel like much. Yeah I've had better times (2nd and 3rd grade especially), but this was pretty great too.

Maybe it's because I was really interested in everything. Loved history before we even had it as a subject. Loved the nature, loved playing, was fascinated by science...

So it really broke my heart to hear that my niece was just disinterested for most of those 7 days, and said she wouldn't like to go again somewhere. Her reasons? She had to get up early, she was hungry once, she didn't have a TV or a smartphone, the activities were too much for her...

And she's not antisocial or anything, just a perfectly normal little girl!

What can you do about that... All those "here's a smartphone, sit down and be quiet so that mommy can look at hers" moments, spending too much time around relatives who are older than her...

I remember, at that age, after school work was done, I either spent the rest of the day outside with friends, or reading encyclopedias, playing with my brother...

And I can't even tell I'm that much luckier to have not had smartphones and all of that! Here I am, holding a phone in my hand... But even with this in mind, I don't ever wish to have a phone in my hand instead of being in nature or socialising. I wanna throw it out! And I'm really sad that the new generations are growing up in front of big and fun screens. It's not even their fault!

 

[Archon]

Haha have to update y'all as I've called her and she told me it was great. Had a pointless rant.

 

[Love Nation]

I dont have any social media, except whats app and stuff. Only logging in to facebook, when i loose my smartphone because of alcohol, to get some contacts back. Last year, i decided to make an instagram account to promote my music, but still didnt do it. Was also always at least 5 years late with that technical stuff, that came up, like internet and smartphones. I dont think that its bad, but i really hate social media. Its senseless, and i think it could also make you depressed or even paranoid. And wasting much time, so its not really appealing to me

 

[Jetflag]

I dont have any social media, except whats app and stuff. Only logging in to facebook, when i loose my smartphone because of alcohol, to get some contacts back. Last year, i decided to make an instagram account to promote my music, but still didnt do it. Was also always at least 5 years late with that technical stuff, that came up, like internet and smartphones. I dont think that its bad, but i really hate social media. Its senseless, and i think it could also make you depressed or even paranoid. And wasting much time, so its not really appealing to me

110% agree. Ever since i'm off facebook, insta, parler etc. i feel much happier. I still have a soundcloud account and a youtube page to promote some stuff or upload surf video's but I don't consider them social media in the same light that say: facebook is.

liking this (TF) forum format for when i have time @ home or @ work much better. its more personal, intimate, polite and doesn't instantly trigger the flight/fight/hide responds that say: twitter does, Whilst still being able to have good and insightfull discussion with people i happen to agree or disagree with.

 

[BladeRunner_]

 

[Br8k L3gnd]

I hate social media and being home has never been an issue. I prefer solitude

 

[Progrez]

I quit all social media 2 months ago. Feels good as you guys know. I didn't have a problem with it, but now I spend less time on the screen with blue light and with bad posture. More bored at first, then less bored. The only social I have is this forum, but this is pure love for the music, and the discussions are interesting. The content does not disappear to be consumed by the next thing. Even reddit I stopped because it's the same behaviour of FB really. Boy do I wish forums were the only social media. Just anonymous lads jerking each other off over shared interests. So wholesome.

I quit facebook and instagram the hard part is moving away from the computer all together. Why don't you use a blue light filter my bags have reduced significantly. I am now using a Youtube filter where I don't see any feed on my Youtube channel and I want to spend more time outdoors and in the sun and gardens but the problem with that is that I have to deal with spiders and snakes as well. Facebook was the biggest waste of my time for me I got nothing out of it. it didn't help me apart from meeting some musicians but I didn't get the desired result for me and helping develop as a person.

I want to move away from listening to music to more creating and playing instruments in the future....

 

[Archon]

Great short little post. Gonna post the entire text here, taken from: Sunday Firesides: What's Happening Is . . .

Most everyone would like to spend less time on social media.

Yet our desire to dial down our surfing habits is constantly thwarted by the incessant, overweening itch to know what’s going on.

We stay glued to our ever-refreshing feeds to ensure we don’t miss anything — to answer the burning question: “What’s happening?!”

Well, what’s happening is that you lost the full thrust of the book you were reading by toggling between it and your phone.

What’s happening is that you missed a moment of connection with your kid, who will never again be as young as she was right then.

What’s happening is that an algorithm created by a profit-driven globo-corp is subtly manipulating the lens through which you view the world.

What’s happening is that a friend decided not to go deeper into a subject because he could tell you weren’t fully paying attention.

What’s happening is that an uncomfortable emotion signaling an unaddressed issue in your life was submerged in yet another spin of the digital wheel.

What’s happening is that you let a chorus of comments from strangers shape your opinion on an idea before forming your own original take.

What’s happening is that you just spent fifteen minutes catching up on the lives of old acquaintances you would have lost track of — without a twinge of regret — twenty years ago.

What’s happening is that gazing over influencer- and news-media-generated outrage porn triggered imperceptible drips of cortisol which will diminish your mental and physical health.

What’s happening is that you missed seeing the colors of the sunset right at their peak just outside the passenger side window.

What’s happening is that the thorns of distraction popped a bubble of life-changing inspiration just as it was about to rise into consciousness.

And now you’re all caught up.

 

[Jetflag]

"The best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside: somewhere they can be alone. Alone with the sky, nature and God. For then and only then you feel like everything is as it should be."

 

[Archon]

Ever since I started working, social media is slowly losing its place in my life. But now I'm realizing it's not the app, it's the screen. Really need to limit my on-screen time and try to be more proactive instead of taking the easy way to relax. Definitely gonna try to focus on that.

 

[Jetflag]

Ever since I started working, social media is slowly losing its place in my life. But now I'm realizing it's not the app, it's the screen. Really need to limit my on-screen time and try to be more proactive instead of taking the easy way to relax. Definitely gonna try to focus on that.

2 months in now. How’s it working out for you?

 

[Recharge]

"The best remedy for those who are frightened, lonely or unhappy is to go outside: somewhere they can be alone. Alone with the sky, nature and God. For then and only then you feel like everything is as it should be."

That's actually very solid advice. Last evening I took a walk through the Riverside on Thames. Since it was dark there was no one for miles. And it was so calm and peaceful. I chose in a place in London to live where I have huge parks all around me. And I am realising that I am not taking advantage of the place I live. It's almost in the middle of London, but with the huge nature reserve parks around you can almost forget you are in busy London. I also realized recently that the most stressful part of my work is the commute because after COVID people seem to started behaving even more idiotic in public transport.