Physically I'm fine but mentally drained. My biggest gripes are apathy and lethargy. Let's say I'm in the wilderness and sitting in a bush while starving. I'd rather stay there until I die than go and find food. Thats how I feel most of the time. Otherwise feeling foggy, poor short-term memory, can't focus and concentrate, suicidal thoughts cross my mind regularly (I don't thing I'm gonna act on them anytime soon), have some bad OCD tendencies. He told me that this particular medication helps with OCD too. Medication is Remirta (Mirtazapine) - once per day/30mg. He is pretty positive that I'm not going to experience bad side effects.
I suspected that can be depressed but when you hear it from professional adds more weight to it.
Still can't shake this feeling that I'm just laziest and most boring person on the planet and faking it. Like depression is not real.