Thanks for sharing. Sounds really nice indeed, mainly because the sounds you have used are just beautiful and absorbing in a way. As Daysleeper said there is loads of potential here. I love how the elements and FX come in a play around. Some feedback;
1. Is it just me or does the first version sound like the EQ is better? Anyone else? This new one sounds sharper, more crisp, more modern, less warm etc.
2. Sounding as oldschool as possible is a big win for us. This track feels modern (but done well), like the snapper, crisp percs, (as mentioned above). If you managed to balance the atmospheric and melodic elements with more analog and edgier percs I think it would be a fantastic combo honestly. Even some of the synths too perhaps. Easier said then done I guess.
3. Arrangement still not there for me. I would aim for the 7 minute mark and use other tracks for reference on how they into, build, break, release, return etc.
4. Love the atmospheric, reverby, spaciousness, detailed effects. I wonder if having a moment (breakdown?) where that essence has time to shine and develop, without the percs and whatever else, doing its own thing. Could be something that helps with the arrangement issue mentioned above.
5. Your track is nicely optimistic melodic prog. Would love some darkness, edginess, or melancholic side to create the juxtaposition. In my opinion the best Trance/Prog is when that balance between light/dark, warm/raw is struck.
Take my feedback lightly though. Its your track and you have a vision. I don't know if having others be prescriptive like this is even useful or warranted. I am no producer after all, and just have my own subjective thoughts. That said, I do hear loads of potential and would be willing to sign. Any feedback from @jetflag @Magdelayna @LostLegend @Magnevi
would be sweet too.